The Parent-Teacher-Child Connection: 10 Reasons Kids Prefer One Parent over the Other

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

10 Reasons Kids Prefer One Parent over the Other

This post comes to you from my friends at www.nationalnannies.com  I wholeheartedly endorse the premise that moms and dads are different!  They generally have different roles in the family, which is why children should have two parents instead of one.  However, in the absence of the second parent for whatever reason, the single parent needs to take on the role of both parents.  Given the information in the article below, that's a pretty tall order.  No wonder single parents seem overworked, underappreciated, and generally stressed.  So, if you think your kids prefer your spouse over you, remember that there will be other times when you become the preferred parent.  Balance in a relationship, whether it's with your kids, your children, or your own parents, is paramount.

As a parent you can’t have a favorite child, it just wouldn’t be right. You love both of your children equally, but there are days when I tell my kids that I don’t like how they are acting very much. When you’re a kid it’s probably similar in that they love both of their parents, but they may like the way one parent interacts with them more than the other. And in my personal experience that seems to change as the child gets older.
  1. Spends more time with mom: When kids are little and the mom stays home with them then they are more likely to favor mom over dad. Mom feeds them and changes them while dad is out working and is home for far less time than mom. Although my kids were always thrilled when my husband came home and would run to him with a big hug.
  2. Dad does sports with them: While mom can do sports too and mom often is the one who shuttles them to practices, when they get older it seems to be dad who is rough and tumble with them and not mom.
  3. Mom’s hugs and kisses are better: This depends on the dad, but more often than not the mom is very loving with lots of hugs and kisses and shows affection more to the kids. Then when the kids get older they will rebel against that and say they are too old for mom to do that and she’s treating them like a baby.
  4. Dad can play horsey with them: Dad is usually bigger and stronger and can give them pony rides on his shoulders and throw them around. Mom can do that when they are little, but as they get heavier it’s harder to do without hurting mom.
  5. Similar activities with mom: Mom takes her daughter shopping, to get her hair cut, and to get a pedicure. It’s mom who will show her daughter how to wear make-up and earrings. These special things will come as your daughter gets older and she’s less of a daddy’s girl.
  6. Dad is a better defender: If your child is being bullied at school it’s going to be dad who’s going to show the son how to defend himself and dad may show his daughter a few things too. Dad will always be there to protect them from the bad stuff.
  7. Mom is their biggest cheerleader: Who is it that is at almost every game cheering the loudest for them? Who comforts them when they lose a game? Who believes they are the best no matter what? Mom, that’s who. When a kid makes it to the big time and he’s saying his thank you’s who does he thank, mom. When they get the chance to get on television and they wave, who do they say hi to, mom.
  8. Dad treats them like they are more grown up: Sometimes it’s hard for mom to let her kids grow up. I tell my son that he will always be my baby no matter how old he gets. Instead of getting upset about it he has embraced that and will often throw my words back at me when I tell him to grow up. Dad on the other hand will let the kids have more freedom and not keep such a tight rein on them. Dads tend to feel like its okay if a kid gets hurt and that it’s all a part of growing up.
  9. Mom is calmer than dad: This will depend on the dad, but often dads are louder than moms and when they get angry they yell more than mom. When dad yells that could be scary for a child and they will run to the mom for comfort. This can be reversed if the mom is the yeller and the dad is really laid back.
  10. Dad lets them get away with everything: Mom is with them 24/7 and dad is at work. When dad gets home it’s time to have fun and go play. If mom is gone dad takes them out to eat instead of cooking them healthy food like mom does. They want to go to their friend’s house; dad lets them as he doesn’t know any reason why they can’t go. Sometimes dads aren’t in the loop on the day to day stuff the way moms are so they make up for it by doing fun things. 
Happy Parenting!

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