The Parent-Teacher-Child Connection

10 regrets you shouldn't say thirty years from now!

2012-03-03T10:11:00.000-05:00

When you look back in 30 years to when your children were little, make sure you don't say, "I wish I had..."

"...spent more time playing." Think about what you do with your kids. You eat, ride in the car, do homework, perhaps lecture them, and get them ready for bed. How often do you simply throw a ball around the yard with them, play Candyland, or color the picture on the opposite page? Those activities are sometimes more memorable than any in the previous list of things you do with your kids.
"...listened to them more." Yes, parents hear their kids when they talk. They hear them ask for money, for rides to a friend's house, and for a later bed time. But when parents truly listen, they'll hear the request for money as a need for independence, the ride to a friend's house as the need for companionship, and the later bed time as a cry for more time with Mom or Dad. Think about your child's motivation when they talk to you.
"...let them make their own decisions." When children reach their twenties, you'll realize the fruits of this regret. So often, I've seen young adults make very bad choices in jobs, mates, and other life-threatening decisions because they weren't allowed to think for themselves as children. Yep, that will cause them to make a few mistakes, but with those mistakes come lessons they will remember long after your hour-long lecture.
"...hugged my kids more." It's a fact - when kids grow up, they don't sit on your laps anymore. They don't call as often as you would like. And they are so busy with their own lives that you may see each other once a month, or maybe even less frequently. Enjoy the daily affection while you can!
"...taught my children to manage money." I don't mean you should give a child an allowance, because that's the last advice you'd get from me - free money for doing nothing. I mean that you should help your children to value the money they get through hard work. If they earn $5 for raking your leaves, or the neighbor's leaves, your son will be more likely to spend the money wisely than if you had handed him the money as an allowance.
"...helped my children appreciate those less fortunate." I think one of the best things we can do for our children is to help them appreciate how good they have it. That doesn't mean lecturing about how their lives are better than yours when you were a kid. It means volunteering with them for a variety of causes: homeless people, senior citizens, wounded veterans, neighborhood cleanliness, homeless animals, etc. etc. etc. What are you doing right now to help your kids understand this important life lesson?
"...shown my children that not all toys need batteries." Send your kids outside to "find" fun! The more creative they become with their play, the more creative they'll become with their problem solving.
"...read to my children more." When children associate books with parental care, they learn that reading is fun. When the only time they read is when you order them to finish their book reports, they won't consider reading to be fun.
"...helped my children to try new and nutritious food." If you're in a food rut, your children will also turn their noses up at new food. Later in life with a strong nutritional basis, they'll be more likely to try sushi or Thai food, and experiment with thier own new cooking expriences. Remember, McDonald's is not a food group!
"...taught my children to respect a higher being." You don't need to be Christian, Jewish, or Muslim to understand that we were created by a higher power who deserves our love and respect. Children need to learn the power of prayer in their lives for those times when they think that everyone else has abandonded them. Religion is a powerful anchor.

Thankfully, I have none of those regrets! How are you doing so far?

Happy Parenting!

10 Ways Babies Cause Back Pain

2012-03-02T05:29:00.000-05:00

This one comes to you from my friends at www.newborncare.com:

Toward the end of your pregnancy you may notice increasing back pain. Welcome to motherhood! There are various causes for the pain you may experience and the good news is that most symptoms can be handled through exercise, rest or making some minor changes in how you do things. Listed below are some ways in which your baby may cause you to experience back pain.

Hormonal changes – As you near the end of pregnancy your hormones begin to change to prepare your body for birth. In the pelvic area, your ligaments begin to soften and your joints become looser. This causes you to lose some of the core support you once had in your back and the result is lower back pain.
The growing baby – As the baby gets larger, you experience a change in posture due to a shifting of your center of gravity. The larger you become the more shifting takes place.
Weight gain – Most women gain several pounds during pregnancy. Between the baby growing and your own weight gain the stress on back muscles is building. All the extra weight you are carrying can cause chronic back pain.
Poor posture – One of the main culprits causing back pain is poor posture. If you have poor posture to begin with, you will likely experience more back pain as the size of your baby increases.
Excessive standing – Women who must stand for long periods of time may find that they experience back pain more often in the last month or so of pregnancy. If possible stand for shorter periods of time.
Stress – You may not be aware of the fact that stress tends to migrate toward the weakest part of your body and cause problems. In this case, any stress you may have can settle in your back area as your body prepares for birth. Find ways to relax and ease any stress you may be feeling.
Pregnancy-associated osteoporosis – This is a rare but painful condition that some women may experience. If you have severe chronic back pain consult your doctor about your symptoms.
Poor posture while feeding – Once the baby gets here, some mothers have a tendency to hunch over as they breast feed. The strain put on your neck and upper back when you are looking down at the baby in a bent position can cause some back problems
Carrying the baby on the hip – Many people have a tendency to carry little ones on their hip. While this may be a comfortable way to carry baby, it throws your spine out of alignment and after a while can cause serious back pain. Try using a baby sling or carrying your baby in front.
Bending over to lift baby – If you are in the wrong position when you lift your baby, you can do harm to you back over time. Extending your arms away from your body to lift baby or bending over to pick the baby up can put stress on back muscles and cause pain. It is better to move in close and bend your knees if possible before you pick up the baby.

Knowing that some of the back pain you may experience is normal and going to go away is a relief. Good posture and exercise will do a lot to alleviate a great deal of pain both before and after baby arrives. Take the time to learn how to pick up your baby correctly so that you can avoid injuries. If you experience severe chronic back pain, be sure to have a talk with your doctor.

Happy, Healthy Parenting!

Parenting Lessons from Pirates?

2012-02-24T07:14:00.000-05:00

Excellent advice from my friends at www.nanny.net ...

The popularity of the Pirates of the Caribbean films have led to a surge in pirate popularity in the last decade; themed parties for kids and adults alike, novelty items and a flood of books and films have appeared to cash in on the pirate craze. For parents of pirate-crazy youngsters, here are a few childcare lessons one might take from the canon of pirate legends.

Travel With a Like-Minded Crew – Solo pirate ships often created alliances with a fleet of other ships in order to reduce the chances of being taken down in an attack. This safety-in-numbers approach is easy to apply to parenting; banding together with a group of like-minded parents can be a great way of trading childcare and building a support system.
They Had Rules, Too – Pirates operated under a strict code of rules and regulations; though certainly different from the rules of the law-abiding set, they carried their own consequences for disobedience. Creating guidelines that work for your family is much more important than arbitrarily using a one-size-fits-all approach that may not be effective.
Pirate Ships Were Organized Outfits – Though most tend to think of a pirate ship as a group of ne’er-do-wells with no organization, this wasn’t the case. Each ship had a routine and a battle plan in place; running your home like a well-oiled machine might be a good parenting method. Children need structure, and to know what to expect each day.
Everyone Played Their Part – Each person aboard a pirate ship had clearly defined roles and were expected to perform certain duties. Similarly, being sure that each member of your family knows what’s expected of them from day to day is important for a child’s well-being and happiness.
Women Were Pirates, Too – Teaching gender equality can be as simple as pointing out that some of the most feared and successful pirates of their time were women. Though encouraging little girls to become sea-faring criminals might not be the intended result, this can serve as a great jumping-off point for a discussion about equality.
Marooned Pirates Had to Make Their Own Way – Inspiring a measure of self-reliance and independence in kids by telling tales of pirates marooned on deserted islands can be exciting and encouraging. Using survival as a parable for overcoming great odds is an entertaining way to impart valuable lessons.
Most Pirate Stories are Myths – The things that most of us think we know about pirates are purely fictional; similarly, many of the things that new parents expect to encounter or think that they know are based on old wives’ tales. Take a hint from pirate lore, and research what you’re told on your own.
Mutiny Was Typically a Calm Discussion – Another pirate myth is that mutinies were always bloody, violent business. In fact, they where generally very calm discussions in which a captain was simply replaced by someone the crew felt was more suited. Encouraging your children to feel comfortable approaching you with grievances and discussing them calmly is a great way to stave of mutinous youngsters in your own home.
There Was Nothing Glamorous About Piracy – Explaining the very real dangers and hardships that pirates faced can be a good way to open a dialogue about glamorous depictions versus reality. Gently explaining that many things aren’t what they appear can be easier, using piratical life as a template.
Work Was Distributed Among Many – Pirates understood that tasks were completed much more quickly when they were split among everyone aboard; this example is a great way to show kids that working together to accomplish something they’d rather not do can make the time and task pass by more quickly.

And I'll add #11 ... Find the gold wherever you go - So often, parents look for and recognize the bad things their children do (poor grades, disobedience, destructiveness, etc.) Instead, find the good things your children do and reward the positive behavior with a simple hug, kiss, star on a chart, etc. I think you'll find that gold is more valuable than rusty metal!

Happy Parenting!

On kicking your child out of the house

2012-02-23T08:04:00.002-05:00

It seems I've met more than my fair share of reject parents this week. Yesterday, while waiting in the chiropractor's office, one woman chatted with the receptionist after I explained that I had just returned from a lovely trip to visit my newest granddaughter. Here is that woman's story...

She said that her grandchildren used to live with her. I commented how nice that must be since mine are in two different states. She proceeded to say that she just kicked them and their mother out of her house last week. The older one, age 5, apparently told her teacher that they "get to" live in a motel now. The younger child is 3 and stays in the motel room with mom during the day. I thought, gee that sounds like tons of fun for an active child. So, then the woman said that her daughter walked in the door this morning, dumped a load of laundry on the floor, and asked (no - told) her mother to get it done by the time she has to pick up her son from kindergarten. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? The lady in the waiting room, told her daughter, "Sure, after I go get X-rays done, see the chiropractor, and visit your brother in jail." WHAT? The picture became very clear. Apparently the mother did everything for those kids while they were growing up, including telling them when to wipe their behinds, apparently, so when they grew up, they were unable to think or do anything for themselves.

And don't get me started about kicking a child out of the house. Too often, I "rescued" my children's friends whose parents kicked them out as teenagers! Where do you think those kids would go? Certainly not to the honor student's house. Each was headed to a known drug user when I intercepted the intentions. Some stayed at my house for a few weeks, others for a few days, until the parents realized that the best place for their children was at home. You think?

Lesson learned here, folks: Help your children to achieve independence by encouraging them to do as much as they can for themselves. Kids can do their own laundry around age twelve. They can keep their own rooms clean. They can help with household chores.... all without benefit of an allowance. They should cooperate because they are members of the close family and happy to share the burden. Another way to encourage independence is to offer choices. How often have I mentioned that in my blog? Only about a bazillion times! When kids can make little choices as little people, they can make life-threatening choices as big people. It's a very simple, balanced equation.

If you want more information on raising independent, self-sufficient children, read
Raising a Self-Disciplined Child: Help Your Child Become More Responsible, Confident, and Resilient You'll be glad you did! (PS - It's not my book, but I wish I had written what's in there!)

Happy Parenting!

Double Jeopardy

2012-02-22T07:57:00.000-05:00

Recently, I spoke with a man who punished his daughter for hacking into another child's Facebook page and writing an insulting status to get even for a similar incident on her own page. The punishment: Taking away the computer for two weeks. While that may appear on the surface to be a fair disciplinary measure, I don't agree for three reasons:

His child was already punished at school because that's where the incident happened - in the school computer lab. Apparently the children involved knew each others' passwords and were fooling around as only kids can do! They had their school computer privileges suspended indefinitely.
The father was guilty of double jeopardy - punishing the same crime twice. The child lost computer privileges at school and at home for the same misdemeanor. That's rather redundant, don't you think?
Taking something away DOES NOT teach a child a lesson.

Here's what I might have done in a similar circumstance...
Since the incident happened at school, I would let the school handle the discipline. At home, we would discuss the reasons why what she did was wrong - it's unkind, illegal, and an example of cyberbullying. We would also discuss the wisdom of using revenge to prove a point. Then, I would turn the negative event into something positive by asking her what she could do that would be kind to the person she had wronged. We might develop a list together of all the things she might do, and then narrow that list to something she could handle. That list could range from baking a batch of cookies to a letter of apology ... or both! Notice that I wouldn't tell my daughter what she should do, I would ask her to figure out what she could do. That is SO much more effective because it puts the discipline ball back in her hands. AND, it is so much more effective than shooting holes in your child's laptop!

So the next time your child gets in trouble at school, let the school handle the punishment. Your job is to manage the feelings associated with that punishment to help your child learn from his or here mistake.

Happy parenting!

10 Tips for Disciplining Children in Front of their Friends

2012-02-21T09:35:00.000-05:00

The guest blogger is from www.enannysource.com. I couldn't have said it better myself! This applies to both parents who must discipline their children in front of siblings and friends, and to teachers who must discipline in front of classmates. I ALWAYS pulled the student out of the classroom for a reprimand to avoid further humiliation. What the rest of the class imagined was always worse that what I said in the hallway, which generally turned into a conspiracy between me and the student!

There are times when parents are forced to discipline their children in the presence of others, which can be quite tricky. This delicate situation should be handled as such, in order to avoid damaging a child’s self esteem and leading to taunts from the observing classmates. These ten tips can strike a balance between effectiveness and overly harsh when your child is acting out in public.

Acknowledge the Behavior – Immediately acknowledging inappropriate or naughty behavior in a calm voice lets your child know that you are aware of the situation, and that their behavior isn’t acceptable.
Pull Them Aside – If at all possible, separate your child from his or her friends before doing anything more than acknowledgment; explaining to them in a one-on-one setting that there are repercussions for making poor behavioral choices is much more constructive than berating the child in the presence of their peers.
Inform Them of Impending Discussions – When it’s not possible to pull your child aside, simply inform them that you’re aware of what they’ve done, and will be discussing it and the resulting disciplinary action when you get home.
Keep Your Voice Down- Never shout at your child, especially in a group setting. In addition to creating the impression that you’re an angry parent, it also embarrasses your child by attracting more attention to the situation.
Avoid Humiliation – Belittling a child is never acceptable, but it’s certainly not the right track when they’re surrounded by others. It is possible to be respectful of your children while expressing disapproval for their actions, and it’s the best possible route in public.
Don’t Talk About Behavior While Driving – If you’re at an event or away from home when the behavioral problem occurs, avoid the temptation to discuss it on the way home. In addition to the risk of distraction-related accidents, the trip will give you time to sort your thoughts and cool off.
Don’t Make Threats – Threatening your child with a punishment in front of their friends definitely falls under the “Humiliation” header for them, but it can cause other parents to become suspicious.
Avoid Commenting on Their Friends’ Behavior – Even if you know that one of your child’s friends was the ringleader, it’s best not to engage that child or attempt to scold them. Emphasizing the importance of making the right choice when others aren’t is the key to instilling a sense of self in your child.
Don’t Be Critical – Making criticizing remarks about your child’s behavior or abilities is hurtful anytime, but that pain is compounded if the remarks are overheard. Choose your words carefully, and avoid “You always…” and “You never…” statements.
Keep It Short and Simple – Long lectures will leave your child’s mind wandering and can also create an opportunity for their peers to tease them later.

Regardless of your parenting style, disciplining a child in public is bound to be awkward for both parties. The most important thing to keep in mind is that humiliating your child will only lead to more behavioral problems; try to solve things as quickly and constructively as possible.

Happy parenting!

How to get your kids to take medicine

2012-02-16T07:56:00.000-05:00

Some children take the bubble-gum or grape-flavored medicine with no trouble, perhaps too eagerly. You may worry that he'll find the refrigerated bottle somehow and chug it down. Other parents beg, plead, bribe, and use the pinched nose routine to get medicine into their children. Here are a few tried and true ways that don't involve brute force to get medicine into your kids...

The bitter taste buds are in the back of the mouth. Take the dropper and place the medicine in his cheek, rather than on his tongue. He'll be less likely to taste it and subsequently reject it.
Place the medicine in food - applesauce, ice cream, yogurt - anything soft that will disguise the taste. However, don't use too much because your child must eat everything in the bowl to get all the medicine.
If your child uses a pacifier, invest in the Kidz Med Pacifier Medicine Dispenser or Safety 1st Hospital's Choice Bottle Medicine Dispenser, depending on your child's nipple preference.
If your child is old enough ask your doctor for the chewable variety rather than the liquid. Your child may think it's simply another vitamin.
Bribery works! Offer a sticker or some other incentive for taking the medicine. Create a medicine chart and when the ten days are up, the child can get a "prize" for taking all her medicine.
Use a positive attitude - if you wrinkle your nose at the medicine, it's a safe bet that your child is picking up on your attitude. Be cheerful and happy, even taking a sip of something similar to show your child it's okay to take medicine.
Try different flavors. Most pharmacies have an assortment of flavor supplements for liquid medicines. If your child doesn't like cherry, he might prefer grape or peppermint.
As an alternative, try spraying your child's mouth with Yo Gabba Gabba! Medicine-Time Flavor Spray before and after he takes the medicine to mask the flavor.

Happy Parenting!

Happy Valentine's Day

2012-02-13T11:39:00.000-05:00

It's Valentine's Day, the time for romance and love. Most kids think of Valentine's Day as yet another occasion for candy - candy hearts, candy kisses, and chocolate hearts. But think about the opportunity you have as parents and teachers to show your children how to celebrate love on this special day. Here are some ideas:

Create a family or classroom heart made of little hearts signed by everyone in the family or class, showing their love for the people in their lives. (Teachers, you'll need to monitor the messages on those hearts!)
Make a Valentines Box. Children create a Valentine for each person in the family and put it in a sealed box. (Only a slit in the top allows the family members to insert their cards.) On the big day, probably after dinner, ceremoniously open the box and distribute all the Valentines. Include cards sent to the family from faraway grandparents and other relatives.
Start a family Valentine's Day tradition. Ours is having Cherry Berries on a Cloud with the clouds in a heart shape.
Write "love letters" aka letters of appreciation to military people, seniors in nursing homes, and other shut-ins.
Turn Valentine's Day into a learning day by categorizing Valentines the children receive in school - all those with animals in one pile, superheros in another pile, etc. The make a chart to see which Valentines are most popular. Or ask your child to create a story about the image they see on the Valentine's card.

Happy parenting! Happy teaching! And Happy Valentine's Day!

10 sounds that put kids to sleep

2012-02-02T06:50:00.001-05:00

Today's article is from Ken, a guest author from www.nannypro.com. It's good advice for parents whose little ones fight sleep:

Sleep disturbances and difficulty falling asleep are such a common issue for infants and children that there are dozens of products on the market to combat the problem. If your little one has difficulty sleeping, here are a few sounds that can help soothe them.

White Noise – If your child’s difficulty sleeping is the result of noise disturbances, a white noise machine can do wonders for them. By masking sounds in other parts of the house, white noise can keep your little one sleeping soundly.
Womb Sounds – Before birth, your baby could hear womb sounds such as mom’s heartbeat. In early infancy, these sounds may still be associated with comfort and can help a baby fall asleep.
Soft Lullabies – Many little ones prefer the sound of a softly-played lullaby to monotonous white noise. Playing a lullaby for a child who’s put down while still awake can help them associate the sounds with putting themselves to sleep.
Flowing Water or Falling Rain – The soft and seamless nature of moving water can be relaxing for children and adults alike. Many noise-makers designed for aiding in sleep feature a rain or ocean setting.
Whale Sounds – Another favorite of sound-machine sleep aids, whale songs and dolphin sounds are relaxing to children of all ages. They’re also believed to stimulate brain activity by some researchers.
Washing Machine Sounds – The combined elements of swirling water and white noise from a washing machine is among the most often recommended soothing sounds from sleep experts. Avoid wasting water and energy by purchasing a recording of washing machine sounds.
Car Rides – Many companies that specialize in recordings of soothing, sleep-inducing sounds offer a car ride option, complete with a humming motor, rhythmic windshield wipers and the pattering of rain. This is a great way to recreate the tried-and-true car ride method of soothing your youngster to sleep without wasting gas to drive around aimlessly.
Blow Dryer – Like the Washing Machine and Car Ride options, there are many recordings of a humming blow dryer commercially available. The sound is thought to even ease colicky babies.
Nature Sounds – The soft sounds of blowing breezes, chirping birds and flowing water are perennial favorites of those who find it difficult to sleep, regardless of age. Many sound machines have a nature setting, due to the popularity of these sounds.
Nighttime Sounds – Anyone who’s ever lived in a rural area can attest to the soothing quality of chirping crickets, croaking bullfrogs and faint hooting of a faraway owl. Even city dwellers can bring the sounds of the country to their little ones’ nurseries with a recording of nocturnal sounds.

When choosing musical sounds to help ease your baby, keep in mind that simple melodies are best for inducing sleep. The complexities of jazz or most classical music can be too stimulating for sleep, though many experts recommend playing these types of music during waking hours for that very reason.

Here is one CD that seems to have many of the sounds he recommends:
The Happiest Baby on the Block New "Super Soothing" Calming Sounds CD. Use it after watching Dr. Karp's video: The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Baby Sleep Longer

Happy parenting!

Six ways to help older siblings accept the new baby

2012-01-30T19:04:00.000-05:00

Since I have a new grandbaby on the way who will be joining her older brothers, I thought this would be the perfect post!

When children are accustomed to a parent's undivided attention, and then that attention shifts to the new baby, naturally jealousy will occur. It's your job to help the older child to understand that he or she is still very important to the family. Here are some ways to do that:

Assign the older siblings to do a helpful job around the house. Not only does this cut down on your time to do something, it also shows the older child that he is definitely more capable of doing things around that house than his little brother or sister. Make sure you notice every time the new job gets done. This could be as simple as making sure that all the cabinet drawers are closed all the time to loading the dishwasher, or making sure the coffee table stays clear of clutter.
Take time for your older child that does not inlude the new baby. Go on an excursion with him while the baby stays with the other parent. Let him choose the nature of that excursion so it's his idea, not yours. Let him take some control over his life.
Have your older child make a welcome home card or sign for the new baby and then hang it in her room.
Allow the older brother or sister to help with the infant's care by bringing a clean diaper or helping to hold a bottle. The older sibling might even be allowed to choose which outfit the baby should wear (give a choice of two or three).
Help the older brother or sister to understand that the baby may be taking up much of your time now, but within the next year, he or she will be able to interact with the older children in the family.
Most parents can tell when their children need a little extra TLC - give it to them when they need it!

If you want some good to read to your children, here are two examples that I like, but there are many more:

The New Baby at Your House - Text is good for age 3+ but the pictures tell the story, so you can use your own words for younger children
The New Baby by Fred Rogers - 'nuf said! Good multiracial pictures

Happy parenting!

Things to do for a child's belly ache

2012-01-26T19:53:00.000-05:00

Guest blogger today from my friends at www.nannypro.com:

Kids have belly aches for all kinds of reasons and not all of them have to do with illness. Sometimes stress or anxiety is to blame. Finding out the basic cause of the discomfort can help in deciding which remedy you want to use. Here are a few tried and true remedies that have been passed down through the years.

Warmth – Whether you use a heating pad, hot water bottle or a sock filled with uncooked rice and heated in the microwave oven, putting a warm pad on the tummy seems to help in many cases. If you use a heating pad make sure there is at least one layer of cloth between the pad and your child’s skin and use the lowest setting. Hot water bottles can be covered with a towel and if you choose to use the rice in the sock method make sure there are no holes in the sock. Put in just enough rice to make the pad flexible and make sure it is securely tied before heating. Check the temperature before you place it on the child’s belly.
Ginger ale – Sipping on ginger ale can help calm an upset stomach and also help reduce nausea. For the most effective result look for ginger ale that is made from real ginger as opposed to an artificially flavored drink.
Salt water – Older folks swear by this remedy: take a spoonful of salt and mix it in warm water and drink it down. The tummy ache should be relieved within minutes.
Apples – Kids will love this one for a tasty remedy. Core an apple and cut it up with the skin left on. Sprinkle a little ground ginger and sugar on the pieces and heat in microwave oven for around 30-45 seconds. Have them eat it while it’s warm and soon your little one’s belly should feel good again.
Burnt toast – This sounds a bit drastic but it works. Slightly burn a piece of toast in the toaster or oven. To make it more palatable you may want to put some butter or a bit of jam on it. The charred bread absorbs toxins in the tummy and makes it feel better.
Ginger root – Though it’s a bit spicy and some kids may not like the taste, it’s definitely worth a try. Chewing on a piece of fresh ginger root is best, however, sliced crystallized ginger works also and can be found in the produce section of the grocery store. Just be aware that the crystallized ginger is covered in sugar. Have your child chew on a piece or two. This also works very well for motion sickness or tummy ache due to anxiety.
Tea – There are some specific homeopathic teas expressly made for tummy aches and these can be found at larger grocery stores or co-ops. For more readily available teas try mint or ginger. Adding honey and/or lemon also helps.

Sometimes all a kid needs to feel better is a little TLC. If the tummy ache continues or gets worse see a doctor to make sure there is not a more serious problem involved.

The Classroom Yard Sale

2012-01-25T07:10:00.000-05:00

Are you looking for a new, unique way to motivate reluctant students without spending a fortune? Consider having a monthly classroom yard sale. Here's how it works...

Get a roll of Single Raffle Tickets. Keep it in a secure location.
Create a display of envelopes on a bulletion board - one for each student.
When a student completes a task, stays on task, or does something exceptional, give him or her a ticket.
Immediately, the student writes his or her name on the back and then inserts it into his designated envelope. (Or if you want to limit classroom movement, have the students put their tickets in their envelopes at one time. Personally, I think that movement is a good thing! See The Kinetic Classroom: Activities that Move Students to Learn)
Throughout the quarter, have kids bring in "stuff" for the yardsale basket (could be a laundry basket or a simple box). They might bring in books they've already read, toys they no longer want, etc. Encourage classroom parents to participate by contributing items. Consider investing in Assorted Novelty Toys so everyone has the opportunity to buy at least one item.
On yard sale afternoon, arrange the items on tables labeled 1 Ticket, 2 Tickets, and 3 Tickets, depending on the size and relative value of the items. Students without tickets can be the ticket takers behind the tables. This will encourage them to earn tickets next quarter. If you have no students who are ticketless, the students with the most tickets will go first, and then become the ticket takers.
Arrange students by who has the most tickets in the front of the line to the least in the back of the line.
Students "buy" what they want, pay the ticket takers (who make sure the proper name is on the back!), and then sit down with their prize. If they have tickets left over, they can put them back in their envelope for the next classroom yard sale.

This scheme has the added advantage of avoiding the unhealthy practice of rewarding good work with candy. It also keeps the students working throughout the marking period, and even to the end of the year.

Happy Teaching!

What is a 504-Plan?

2012-01-23T07:30:00.000-05:00

What can you do if your child does not qualify for special education, but you know he needs some extra help dealing with a mild disability? The answer is to request a "504-Plan hearing" at your child's school.

A 504-plan is a legal, binding document that began with Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. It is designed to help students with special physical, mental, and psychological needs to feel comfortable with the regular learning environment. According to this document: "No otherwise qualified individual with handicaps in the United States … shall, solely by reason of her or his handicap, be excluded from the participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subject to discrimination under any program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance." All public schools fall under the category of offering this assistance.

Your child is eligible if she is considered disabled. This is a broad term that includes physical and mental problems not ordinarily associated with having a disability. Perhaps your child has a disfiguring scar on the right side of her face; a 504-Plan accommodation might request teachers to sit her on the right side of the room so her scar is less noticeable. Or maybe your son is severely overweight; a 504-Plan accommodation for him might include a separated desk and chair in each room so he doesn't have to fit into one of the attached models. Many other disabilities apply, because according to the 504-Plan, a person with a disability is someone who is unable to perform "major life activities" with the rest of the class. These activities include caring for one's self, performing manual tasks, breathing, seeing, speaking, hearing, walking, working and learning. Many hidden disabilities, such as seizures, diabetes, and high blood pressure are certainly covered.

What about children with AD/HD? In order for a school to consider accommodating your child with AD/HD, he must have been evaluated by a neurologist who certifies that your child actually does have this problem. Without the doctor's note, the school's hands are tied. AD/HD has become a controversial diagnosis. Some schools see it as a catchall for students who just don't want to cooperate. Other schools see it as a problem that is as real as blindness. Talk to your child's counselor if you are unsure about the school policy. However, the 504-Plan is a valuable resource because it will allow your child to bring home an extra set of books, will give him preferred seating to eliminate distractions, and will alert his teachers to remind him to constantly stay on the topic. However, although accommodations have been made for AD/HD students, success is not guaranteed because the child may not choose to cooperate with the program.

A 504-Plan does ont become part of achild's permanent record. In fact, some 504-Plans are temporary. If your daughter had a serious illness, such as mononucleosis, and was absent from school for six weeks, a 504-Plan would help her to get back on track again. If your child is a recovering alcoholic or addict, the 504-Plan would provide for temporary relief from stress-producing situations to help him regain confidence in his ability as a student. Remember, in both of these cases, a professional must certify that your child is temporarily disabled. Not all schools will provide a temporary 504-Plan because it is so legally binding. Check with your school for local policy.

The first step to implementing a 504-Plan is to contact your school's counseling department and fill out the referral form. Then, a meeting is scheduled between you and your child's teachers, counselors, principal, support staff as needed (nurse, speech therapist, etc) and of course, your child. After discussion, a 504-Plan is developed that will list the special accommodations. When everyone agrees upon the terms, the document is signed and sent to all of your child's teachers, who are legally bound to provide the accommodations.

Does a 504-Plan cost anything? Not directly. Your taxes pay for the special transportation or other building changes such as ramps. Some federal grant money is also available for meeting the needs of 504-Plan students. As parents, you pay nothing to have your child's 504-Plan needs met.

Here is a sample 504-Plan for a child with diabetes so you can see how the system works: http://www.theparentaladvocate.com/sample-504-plan.htm And a question/answer sheet for even more information on this accomodation: http://www.theparentaladvocate.com/what-is-a-504-plan.htm.

Happy parenting!

Gender bias - real or imagined?

2012-01-21T06:39:00.002-05:00

Read this article and then my comments on this case of bizarre parenting: http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/couple-finally-reveals-childs-gender-five-years-birth-180300388.html

While the motivation may have been admirable, the method was ridiculous and will likely have long-reaching effects into the child's future. Who does that to a child? Obviously this couple in the UK who wanted their child to grow up gender-neutral.

Gender bias is not such a bad thing. Girls learn to behave in a feminine manner while boys become masculine. What's wrong with that? Nothing, if the parents don't go overboard and put their little girls in tiaras or expect their little boys to use their muscles on the playground against other children.

My point here is that obviously, gender bias in school or the workplace should not be tolerated. However, there's absolutely no reason to force children to go against their genetic code. When my girls were growing up, they had dolls, but could just as frequently have played with trucks in the dirt. They played with their toy of choice at the moment. My daughter has boys. They have all their trucks and footballs, but they also have a stuffed animal and a favorite blanket. That, in my opinion, is a normal childhood. My girls grew up feminine, yet strong (I always said, "I don't raise no wimpy girls!") and I'm sure my grandsons will grow up to be masculine, yet caring (My daughter wouldn't have it any other way!)

Amanda Chapman in her paper, Gender Bias in Education, sums up gender bias implications in school:
"Sitting in the same classroom, reading the same textbook, listening to the same teacher, boys and girls receive very different educations." (Sadker, 1994) In fact, upon entering school, girls perform equal to or better than boys on nearly every measure of achievement, but by the time they graduate high school or college, they have fallen behind. (Sadker, 1994) However, discrepancies between the performance of girls and the performance of boys in elementary education leads some critics to argue that boys are being neglected within the education system. Across the country, boys have never been in more trouble: They earn 70 percent of the D's and F's that teachers dole out. They make up two thirds of students labeled "learning disabled." They are the culprits in a whopping 9 of 10 alcohol and drug violations and the suspected perpetrators in 4 out of 5 crimes that end up in juvenile court. They account for 80 percent of high school dropouts and attention deficit disorder diagnoses. (Mulrine, 2001) Departments of education should be providing mandatory gender-equity resource modules to in-service teachers, and gender bias needs to be addressed with all pre-service teachers. Educators need to be made aware of the bias they are reinforcing in their students through socialization messages, inequitable division of special education services, sexist texts and materials, and unbalanced time and types of attention spent on boys and girls in the classroom. "Until educational sexism is eradicated, more than half our children will be shortchanged and their gifts lost to society." (Sadker, 1994)
References:
Mulrine, A. (2001) Are Boys the Weaker Sex? U.S. News & World Report, 131 (4), 40-48.
Sadker, D., Sadker, M. (1994) Failing at Fairness: How Our Schools Cheat Girls. Toronto, ON: Simon & Schuster Inc.

Hmmm.... is there really a gender bias in school or does that gender bias begin at home where well-meaning parents require their little girls to sit demurely at a table to finish their homework, but allow their little boys to toss a football around instead of concentrating on homework? Or is it a genetic code that sends a message somehow? I don't have any easy answers, nor do I have any solutions. I simply know that children need to make intelligent choices about their activities, their toys, their attire, and their futures. And that can only be achieved when parents respect their children for who they are and what they decide. End of story. Period.

Happy parenting and happy teaching!

Anger Management for Children

2012-01-19T11:57:00.000-05:00

If you've seen the movie, Anger Management, you know that adults sometimes behave in unusual ways to provide anger management therapy. However, when the angry person in need of management is a child, the therapy takes on a different approach. Angry children tend to grow up into angry adults, abusive to spouses, and dissatisfied with their lives. Early intervention can help these children live long, successful, healthy lives. Here are some suggestions you can do at home to help an angry child. When all else fails, however, you need to seek professional assistance:

When a child throws a temper tantrum, remove objects from the area so she doesn't hurt herself, and then walk away. Say, "Come see me when you're ready to talk calmly." Sometimes this is one of the hardest things to do - walk away from a screaming child. The natual tendency is to scream right back, or as my mother liked to say, "Stop crying or I'll give you something to really cry about." (That tactic never worked, by the way!) If the temper tantrum occurs in a public place like the mall or grocery store, there's nothing wrong with walking out with the crying child, getting into the car, and driving home. Chances are, he or she will still be crying when you get home. Simply bring her inside, sit her someplace safe, and repeat the message above about coming to see you when she calms down. The worst thing you can do is buy into the tantrum by trying to placate her at the store ("Calm down and I'll get you an ice cream." WHAT? Positive reinforcement for negative behavior? Not on my shift!)
Provide a positive role model for your children. If you and your spouse have an argument, try to do it in an adult manner, or at least out of earshot of the children. If you or your spouse has a true anger management problem, professional help is indicated to prevent a breakdown of the family.
Show children that they have alternatives to getting angry: breathing deeply, exercising, and rethinking the problem are all socially acceptable alternatives to yelling and hitting during anger.
Speaking of socially acceptable outlets for anger, show your child that you can write about the problem, then destroy the paper, which is a power catharsis and defuser for an anger trigger.
Help your child to understand that everyone gets angry; it's the method they choose to respond to that anger that determines whether there will be a productive outcome or a meltdown of communication.
Children should know that they can't change everything to suit themselves, which is the usual triggger for most children's anger. Help them to see that they can accept a trigger situation by rethinking the source of the problem.
Most importantly, when a child gets angry, he or she should know that you'll be there to support him through the difficult times, rather than making those times even more difficult. Respond to your child's body language. If he looks like he needs a hug to calm down, then hug him. However, if he looks like he needs to be alone for a while, then respect that as well.

Happy parenting!

Tips for Grandparents

2012-01-16T21:27:00.000-05:00

Most of my blog entries have involved parents or teachers interacting with their young people. Today's blog is about grandparenting ... not because I've joined the ranks of happy grandparents, but becuase I had the misfortune of sitting at a restaurant booth back to back with the most annoying grandfather I've ever met.

Throughout lunch, he TOLD his three-year-old granddaughter what she should do (my comments in parentheses): Eat with your fork (sometimes it's okay to use your fingers), eat your soup first then your salad (Really? What does it matter?), show Grandma how you can be a big girl (he never did tell her what he expected of that big girl behavior), tell Grandma what you did in preschool (a question about her week would have been so much more effective), and the list went on and on and on and on throughout the meal. Maybe because I am super-sensitive to allowing children to make their own decisions, but I found this man to be extremely obnoxious and wondered how Grandma stayed with him for so long!

So the reason for this rant is to provide grandparents with some guidelines for interacting with their grandchildren:

Remember that you are the grandparent, not the parent. Gentle discipline is acceptable, but leave the heavy duty discipline to Mom or Dad.
Ask whether your grandchild wants to make a craft, sing a song, do a puzzle, hear a story, or (God forbid) watch TV with you. Let the child decide, rather than saying, "Let's read a story while Mommy takes a shower."
Don't walk in the door with a present every time you visit. You don't want your grandchildren to become mercenaries, expecting a gift every time they see you. It should be enough that you are there for them to enjoy.
The rules have changed for some child care techniques. For example, babies are now placed on their back to sleep, some older cribs do not meet modern standards, and children must be appropriately buckled in an approved seat when riding in a car. If you're not sure, don't be afraid to ask your son or daughter. And don't be offended if they don't want the crib they slept in as babies.
Avoid telling your son or daughter how to parent. Remember, they learned from you how to raise a child. If you did your job, they'll do their job just fine. However, if they ask for advice, go ahead and give them the benefit of the wisdom of your years!
What will your grandchildren call you? Anything that makes you and them feel comfortable. There's Grandma, Nona, and Momom. Or Grandpa, Poppy, and simply Pops. Personally, I think adding the first or last name like Granny Miller is not as informal as simply Granny. If there are two Grannys in the family, one can be Granny and the other might be Momom.
Don't be a yes-man. Kids will see you as a pushover and will literally walk all over you. You wouldn't have done that for your own kids; don't do it to your grandchildren when you watch them.
It's so easy to go overboard on birthdays and Christmas. I admit I'm guilty on that count! However, there's a limit to how much I'll spend. Each grandparent knows what he or she can afford and should stick to the limit, even if it means each of the twelve grandchildren get only one small present at Christmas.
Speaking of presents, try to give presents that encourage creativity and have more than a single purpose. Your grandchildren will get more miles of fun for your money.
Above all, enjoy your grandchildren. Laugh with them, play with them, and teach them that life is definitely good!

Happy grandparenting!

Ten Ways to Encourage Creative, Independent Thought

2012-01-13T07:51:00.001-05:00

When I was young, I had few toys. I made my own fun from available resources, like natural objects and discarded items around the house. I wasn't particularly poor ... there just weren't that many toys to be purchased in those days. I didn't have TV until I was five years old, and even then the program choices for young people were limited. As a result, I read, drew pictures, made crafts, and played with my dog. Our phone was a party line. That meant I might lift the receiver and hear someone else's conversation. I would politely lower the receiver and try again later ... and later... and later. Consequently, I wrote letters to my friends during the long summer months rather than calling them on the phone.

Where am I going with these reminiscences? To the unthinking generation that can pick up a plastic toy for amusement, turn on the TV for entertainment, and use a phone to talk to friends. Where's the creativity? Where's the thought? Where are today's youth headed?

My daughter recently gave her accelerated seventh graders the ubiquitous bridge project. I'm sure G&T teachers around the country have offered the same challenge: Build a bridge from paper and tape that will support (fill in the blank). As a child, I would have been thrilled with the challenge to consider different bridge designs for stability and endurance. I would have tested and retested my designs until they met the required criteria. However, my daughter's class was disappointed that they were not able to use the computer lab that week. What? They wanted to sit in front of a screen rather than get their hands and minds busy with a real project? What's wrong with this picture?

Similarly, when I was teaching and would pose a thought-provoking question to my students, many times they would answer, "I don't know." ACK! I would not allow that answer. Sure the student might not actually know the answer to the question, but I expected an intuitive response - anything is better than "I don't know."

So, the bottom line with today's rant is that I've developed ten ways that you can get your children to start thinking and stop receiving all their information:

Offer more choices and reduce the number of requests. (Instead of saying, "It's time for bed," say, "It's bedtime - do you want to brush your teeth first or get on your PJs first?" A simple choice, but one that still involves thought.
Encourage your children to read some of the choose your own adventure variety. Here are a few examples: Books at Amazon.
Encourage outdoor activities, none of which involve TV, phones, or computers, all of which involve creative exploration. Let your kids get dirty! They'll have more fun in the tub later.
Teachers: Develop more bridge-building style activities, even if you don't teach G&T. Average students crave the need to get up and move around to explore your curriculum rather than completing a tedious worksheet. (See my book, The Kinetic Classsroom, for ideas!)
Ask open-ended questions. Questions that require a one-word answer don't usually involve creative thought. (Example: What kind of bird is that?) An open-ended question usually begins with Why or How rather than What or When. (Example: Why do some birds migrate south and other birds stay in the area?)
Buy thought-inducing games and toys. Puzzles, legos, logic problems, and similar activities encourage children to think creatively. Single-use toys like a silly Magic 8-ball don't encourage creativity or thought.
Discard coloring books and replace with plain paper. Let your children develop their own pictures to color! You might be amazed at how creative they become when presented with a blank piece of paper.
Encourage letter writing, especially to grandparents and other older relatives who may not understand computers and email.
Encourage dramatic play with costumes, props, and a list of possible scenarios (child-produced, of course!). If your children are old enough, ask them to write a story about their dramatic play.
Supply your children with the opportunity for craft activities. Dollar stores are a treasure trove of junk, useful for holiday craft experiences. Play doh allows children to create anything without criticism. What a great rainy day way to develop creative thinking!

Research has proven that children who think independently and creatively are more socially aware and morally considerate. So turn off the TV, send your kids outside, and make the phone off-limits for a mutually-agreed upon period of time. Help your children at home and in the classroom to think before they act by encouraging creative thought when they are young. You'll be glad you did when they are presented with life-threatening choices as teenagers.

Happy parenting and happy teaching!

What to do about teacher burnout

2012-01-10T19:06:00.001-05:00

If you're feeling overwhelmed and burned out, putting in long hours without seeming to get ahead, becoming irritable with your students, then there are things that you need to do to take care of yourself. Here are a few suggestions...

The paragraph above and the list below came from another website. The bolded comments are mine, as observations about whether they would work!

Enroll in a fun workshop, seminar, conference, or personal, non-teaching interest. In other words, get a hobby!
Change teaching grade assignments in the school. Right - a whole new set of curriculum guidelines is sure to relieve stress!
Change schools. Easier said than done, folks!
Go into a different teaching role such as resource, administration. At a reduced pay grade for the resource and even more stress for the admin!
Take on a new task such as a school or district committee. Whoopie! More things for the overworked teacher to do!
Take up swimming, jogging, walking, rowing, cycling. That's more like it - get those endorphins swimming around your blood stream!
Get more sleep. Again, easier said than done if you have children and a household to run in addition to your day job.
Use deep breathing, meditation techniques, music to relax. Another excellent suggestion!
Cultivate allies among students, staff, and parents. Yes! Misery loves company!
Find friends outside of teaching. You'll definitely have different topics of conversation this way!
Go to out-of-town conferences. And who's going to pay for this??
Collect and mount motivational posters in your classroom. Provided you have time to do this in addition to planning, grades, conferences, etc. etc. etc.!
Take a vacation, a week-end getaway, or go to a spa retreat. On a teacher's salary? Get real!
Be flexible, or you'll be permanently bent out of shape. Excellent suggestion and funny metaphor!
Join a charitable volunteer group. My favorite suggestion - when you're thinking about someone else, you don't have time to worry about yourself.
· Get a pet (rabbit, cat, dog...). Unless you have allergies!

Happy Teaching!

The First Nine Sounds Your Baby Recognizes

2012-01-06T07:09:00.000-05:00

Today we have a guest blogger from the folks at www.findababysitter.org. I think new parents will find this information very interesting:

New moms and dads spend a lot of time trying to interpret their babies actions and determine what was a reaction based on sheer coincidence and what was a reaction because of something they said or did. You can always tell when a new parent believes that something happened based on what they did in the knowing head nod and accompanying smile saying “yes – that just happened because I said xyz… my baby knows what’s up!”

However, it can be hard to judge when a baby responds to something because they were able to actually distinguish a certain noise or voice or if they responded simply because they saw something out of the corner of their eye or they just were hungry or fussy at the same moment as someone said or did something.

These days, when children are born in a traditional hospital setting, infants get their hearing tested before they even leave the hospital to ensure that everything is progressing the way it should be and diagnose any potential hearing problems early on. So what is it that babies really hear and recognize first?

Sounds around them before their born - The whole concept of pregnancy is a fascinating one – there is a tiny human growing inside of you and everything that is going on in and around you is impacting them in some way. Doctors have been able to determine that as early as 21 weeks into a pregnancy babies are beginning to hear sounds occurring outside the womb. Since each surrounding is different, the first sounds they hear are different too – whether it’s the voices of you and your husband or your other children running around playing loudly – these all are things your baby has begun to store into their sound knowledge.
Nearby noises - Any louder sounds that are happening close to your baby will cause them to react in the first month home. They may not respond to noises that are farther away from them, so there’s no need to be concerned if they don’t react right away.
Regular voices - The voices that your baby hears regularly during their first month home – whether it’s you, your spouse, your other children, your dogs barking, etc. – are starting to become familiar sounds to them during that first month. Anything that they hear on a constant basis becomes a distinguishing sound for them, allowing them to respond accordingly. You can tell when they’re beginning to pinpoint different noises because they will turn their head in recognition or cry to be picked up.
Their own voices - In addition to regular voices that babies hear, during the first month they will also begin to determine what is their own voice and will practice hearing it by making different cooing and gurgling noises.
High-pitched noises - If you ever wondered why people talk in annoyingly high-pitched octaves when around infants, it’s not because they’re intentionally being annoying, but more because that’s what babies respond to most during their first few months. This doesn’t mean you should solely rely on baby talk and cooing though – by mixing in regular, adult words and high-pitched baby talk, you are encouraging your baby to respond and speak themselves.
Music - There’s a good reason that most doctors encourage you to immerse your child with music – babies respond and recognize the lyrical notes early on in their hearing. And you don’t need to limit your musical choices either – by watching your baby’s responses to a variety of music, you will eventually see their own musical preferences evolve as they begin to respond to different types in favorable or unfavorable ways.
Everyday loud noises - In the first six months home your baby will begin to recognize the louder noises that they hear on a daily basis, such as a the loud roaring that accompanies the vacuum cleaner, the sounds of the TV when it’s turned on, or the chiming of your cellphone when it rings. To help develop a broader range of hearing you should stimulate louder noises by giving them toys such as rattles to play with while you’re doing household chores or running errands.
Quieter sounds - By the time your baby passes the six month mark, they will start to respond to and distinguish quieter noises when they’re paying attention, such as whispering between two people and the rustling of leaves outside. Their hearing is fine-tuning itself at this point, so you should continue to immerse them in all sorts of everyday environments to encourage continued development.
Names - By 10 months you should be regularly telling your baby his or her name and the names of other people and things around them, and they should be beginning to distinguish and identify people they interact with regularly by their names.

Watching your baby develop their hearing is an exciting time. Sounds that we typically tune out or take for granted, such as the neighbor mowing the lawn next door or the sound of a school bus or garbage truck rumbling through the neighborhood, are all sounds that are going to be new, exciting, and stimulating to your infant. As they continue to grow and mature different noises will become apparent to them, and while they may have been sleeping through the night just fine one week, the next they will be intent on determining what certain noises are. You just have to remember that, while you may be used to certain sounds, your baby is hearing them all for the first time and is trying to pinpoint what each and every new thing is.

It can be interesting and entertaining to introduce them to new noises and see how they react to them one by one – just make sure not to surround them with too many loud noises, their hearing is still delicate early on in life and you don’t want to do anything to damage that!

Happy Parenting!

Feng Shui Your Faculty Room

2012-01-05T11:49:00.000-05:00

I've written a book and many articles about the value of Feng Shui in classrooms. But how about adding this spiritually uplifting concept to the faculty room? Typically, those dens are havens for discarded newsletters, yesterday's newspapers, and inedible leftovers in the faculty fridge. Some, as in the first school I ever taught, don't even have windows to allow fresh air to filter through the mess and odors. The picture I chose for today's blog is of a faculty room at Westminster College in Salt Lake City, Utah. WOW! Is that a fireplace???

Here then, are some suggestions for Feng Shui-ing the faculty room if you don't work at Westminster College!

Reduce clutter by adding a paper recycling bin near the door. Make sure someone empties it frequently. Also, at the end of the day, all lose papers should be placed in that recycling bin. If they were so unimportant that they were left on the table, they can certainly be easily recycled.
Clean out the fridge once a week. Discourage faculty from leaving anything except a lunch bag or box in the fridge. Old bottles of catsup, half-full bottles of soda, and leftover hoagies begin to grow a personality all their own after a while.
Add a touch of the natural like round-leafed plants near the window. No windows? No problem. Most plants tolerate flourescent lights just find. Remember to avoid pointy-leafed plants and cactus, as they bring in the "poison arrows." Use those Glass Plant Watering Bulbs so the plants get enough moisture. Plants also replace the oxygen and remove carbon dioxide in a stuffy faculty room.
For a different touch of the natural, and a calming influence, add a fish tank near the door. Remember to assign someone to feed the fish daily or get an Everyday Fish Feeder Programmable Automatic Food Dispenser and refill it as needed. This also solves the problem of who's going to feed the fish over vacation or on snow days.
Follow the Bagua when you plan the areas in the faculty room. For example, if you have wooden mail boxes, they should be on the left side of the room as you enter. Metal mailboxes should be on the right side of the room.
When your district indicates that they are upgrading the walls and floors, make this suggestion: Pale green is a calming color that works well in an eating area. Floors should be linoleum or other similar material that is easy to clean. I've been in faculty rooms where the carpet smells like yesterday's spill... for the rest of the year.
If you don't have any windows, create one. No, I don't mean you should knock out the brick wall. Simply place an interesting, scenic poster on the wall and attach curtains around it to give the illusion of space. That's what I did forty years ago in my first school before I even knew about the value of Feng Shui!
Finally, consider the needs of your faculty. If they like to chat all together, arrange the tables in a square or U-shape. If you find that they prefer to sit with their departmentalized buddies, then use separate tables place far enough apart to avoid bumping into each other when they get up.

All of the Feng Shui suggestions I have in my book, Feng Shui for the Classroom, also work for faculty rooms!

And now to make you teachers out there really jealous.... here is a video of a faculty room makeover: http://www.5min.com/Video/How-to-Makeover-a-High-School-Teachers-Lounge-93890400

Happy Teaching!

Bed-Sharing and SIDS

2012-01-04T12:42:00.000-05:00

Since the late 1980s, studies have indicated that the incidences of SIDS decreased dramatically when parents began to place their infants on their backs to sleep. However, a new study in the January 2012 issue of the Journal of Pediatrics indicates that an additional risk factor is involved - placing a sleeping infant in the bed with a sleeping parent. Additionally, the study analyzed the difference between smoking and non-smoking parents as another contributing factor for SIDS when babies are placed in the bed with their parents.

The 20-year study used 2,464 cases and 6,495 control subjects. Here's what the very reliable study indicated:

1. There is a direct correlation between bed-sharing and an increased risk for SIDS.

2. When parents smoked, the risk of SIDS increased even further. (However, they could not separate in utero maternal smoking from those who smoked around their infants.)

3. The risk for SIDS while bed-sharing increased 10X for infants under 12 weeks. The risk for infants over 12 weeks was not elevated during bed-sharing. The study indicated that older infants are better able to free themselves from a smothering situation. The researchers also noted that bed-sharing infants have a higher skin temperature, which may also contribute to SIDS.

4. Bed sharing during one night when the baby does not routinely share the bed doubles the risk for SIDS. Researchers suggested that the reason may be because the child is already ill, which would cause the parents to sleep with the child.

5. Temporary bed sharing for comforting or feeding does not increase the risk for SIDS.

6. Infants who slept with adults on a sofa were at higher risk for SIDS than infants who slept with adults in a bed.

The bottom line: Bed sharing strongly increases the risk of SIDS.. This risk is greatest when parents smoke and in infants who are under 12 weeks old. The risk is particularly high with young infants whether the parent smokes or not.

Happy, safe parenting!

10 Reasons to Encourage Breakfast

2012-01-03T07:57:00.001-05:00

You've heard it before - Breakfast provides a strong start to your children's day. But have you ever thought about the reasons why you should plan a few extra minutes in the morning for a hearty breakfast? Here are ten...

Boost blood sugar to your brain. After 8-10 hours of no food, your brain needs a boost of glucose to jump start its engine. That's why the first meal of the day is break-fast! Without this fresh supply of glucose, your children won't be able to process the information their teachers present in the first few classes of the day. Most carbohydrates contain glucose, but choose complex carbohydrates, such as whole grain and bran cereals, to give your children brain energy throughout the morning.
Add nutrients to your body. Most breakfast cereals are fortified with essential nutrients that the body can store throughout the day and use as needed. Nutrients such as folate, B-vitamins, iron, fiber, and other nutrients help the body use its energy efficiently. Without these helpers, the carbohydrates could create an energy spike, making your children energy deficient by mid-morning.
Lower cholesterol. Studies show that people who skip breakfast have higher cholesterol levels. Start now to show your children the proper way to help their heart later in life.
Decrease risk of diabetes and obesity. Breakfast helps prevent many metabolic disorders such as diabetes and obesity. Eating a hearty breakfast early in the day helps children's metabolism throughout the rest of the day.
Discourage anorexia. An Australian study found that thirteen-year-old girls who did not eat breakfast were more likely to become anorexic and have other eating distorders. Skipping a meal to control weight is very unproductive becuase the teens tend to graze on the wrong foods like donuts later in the day.
Develop healthy skin. Tell your teens that eggs contain lutein, which helps protect the skin's elasticity. Eggs are packed with nutrients like zinc that are good for acne.
Feel good! Emotionally, eating breakfast will give you a better view of the world and your body. Add blueberries to your pancakes or cereal. They are a natural feel-good food because they contain so many antioxidants.
Balance your daily intake. If you eat three meals a day plus an occasional snack between meals, you have achieved food balance. If your children eliminate breakfast because they're late for the bus, they must cram all their nutrients into two meals plus snacks. This leads to chronic overeating in the long run and low energy early in the day.
Boost immune system. A study in the Netherlands indicated that people who eat breakfast have a stronger immune system to combat the common cold and other virus-borned diseases. Without going into all the technical explanation for their findings, let it suffice to say that they noticed a 17% drop in attendance at work due to illness for adults who did not eat breakfast. That means that children who do not eat breakfast are more likely to lose thirty days of school each year!
Live longer. Another study showed that people who lived to be 100 years old were consistent breakfast eaters. If you cancel out other problems like smoking and drinking, by simply eating a hearty breakfast, your children will live long enough to help you in your senior years!

Remember, sugary cereals and pop tarts are not acceptable substitutes for a healthy breakfast choice. Here are two recipes from my other website for make-ahead breakfasts that you can serve all week long: http://www.reneeheiss.com/my_recipes#christmas The Christmas breakfast casserole has been a favorite of my family's for over thirty years and the hearty healthy oatmeal casserole lasts for many days and can be reheated as needed.

Happy parenting!

Boomwriters

2011-12-22T07:44:00.001-05:00

Looking for a new way to energize your budding authors into submission? (Hah - I actually planned that pun for this post!) Started in 2010, Boomwriter is an engaging creative writing website that has students reading, writing, and assessing content in ways they’ve probably never done before.

Here's how it works:

The teacher selects or produces his or her own story start, and the students let their imagination and writing skills take over.
One chapter at a time, the students write, read, and then vote on the submissions they like the most. The winning chapter is then added to the story and the process continues.
The teacher determines the total number of chapters to be completed, and when the competition is over a new book is ready to be published

In Bloom’s Taxonomy of cognition, the highest levels of thinking and learning are “Creating” and “Evaluating.” BoomWriter guides students to do both... and have fun in the process!

Teachers also have the option of providing instruction for students in the form of “Guiding Notes” prior to the creation of each new chapter.

BoomWriter is standards-based and can be used for “in action” practice of specific genres (from Science Fiction to Drama), and even for test preparation: collaboratively creating a top-scoring essay.

NOTE TO PARENTS AND HOME-SCHOOLERS: BoomWriter is extremely safe for your children. The site is password protected for teachers and students, and only the teacher is able to have direct communication with the students (for the purpose of instruction). Students’ individual identities are protected by the avatar that they create, and this allows them to have a persona without compromising their identity. All student chapter submissions are screened by the teacher before being submitted for the peer voting process.

If I were still teaching 7th grade language arts, I'd definitely use this program to motivate my students.

And did I mention this is a FREE website? They make their money by selling the books that kids create. What fun! I can also see this being used in other classrooms to satisfy the writing across the curriculum requirement. The possibilities are endless!

Watch the video of real teachers using this program with real students:

Happy Teaching!

'Tis the Season for ... Poisons!

2011-12-20T07:40:00.001-05:00

In order of poisonous interaction: Mistletoe ( The berries can cause excessive salivating, vomiting, diarrhea, excessive urination, heavy breathing, and a fast heart rate.), holly (The berries can cause gastric intestinal distress, vomiting and diarrhea in small children and pets), and poinsettia (The sap around leaves can cause skin irritation and vomiting). These three plants, while holiday staples for decorations, are also poisonous to humans and pets. The longer these plants sit around in a heated home, the more likely they are to drop leaves and berries. If ingested, call poison control immediately.

It's also the season when parents and other caregivers become preoccupied and don't watch their children as closely as other times of the year. Here are the nine most common household poisons posted by www.nanny.net:

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), unintentional poisoning results in almost 82 deaths per day in the United States, and an additional 1,941 emergency room visits. Proper storage and handling of poisonous materials is a common-sense approach to safeguarding your family and pets, but do you know all of the poison hazards in your home? Of all the potentially dangerous products in the average home, the following are the 9 most common household poisons:

Medicines – If not kept out of the reach of children, or if not taken as prescribed, common medications in the home can be poisonous. Cold and flu medicines, and analgesics account for a large number of poisonings.
Cosmetics / Personal Care Products – Among children under the age of 6, who account for more than half the cases of unintentional poisonings in the U.S., these products are most commonly involved. Perfumes, nail polish remover, mouthwash, even toothpaste are poison risks for children.
Cleaning Products – Bleach, ammonia, solvents, furniture polish; drain cleaners, oven cleaners, lye and detergents all need to be stored properly and kept out of children’s reach and away from pets.
Pesticides – When treating the home for pests, it is important to take care in what areas are treated and to observe the label instructions very closely. Rodent poisons should never be placed within reach of children or pets, or in food storage areas. Always wear gloves when handling pesticides.
Paints / Paint Thinners – Whether via fume inhalation, ingestion, or lead poisoning, paints and thinners are potentially hazardous products. Care should be taken to use proper ventilation when using these products.
Plants – Some household plants can be toxic when ingested by pets or small children. Around the holidays, hazards include such common decorative plants as mistletoe, poinsettias and holly.
Small Batteries – The combination of their size and chemical composition makes these miniature batteries, like those used in watches and hearing aids, a serious choke and poisoning risk.
Antifreeze – Can be fatal if swallowed. This common household item is particularly dangerous because it has an attractive smell and taste to pets, and is readily accessible to them if spills are not cleaned thoroughly.
Hydrocarbons – These products include gasoline, kerosene, motor oil, lighter fluid, and lamp oils. They are not only a choke hazard, but pose a risk to the lungs when ingested. Another leading cause of poisoning death in children.

Happy Holidays and Happy Parenting!

What to do when a student dies

2011-12-18T06:24:00.002-05:00

Unfortunately, if you've taught long enough, you've encountered the situation when you must return to class the day after a student has died. I had to deal with that many years ago when my student committed suicide. Most recently, my daughter has encountered this when her student was killed by a hit-and-run driver. For those of you also in this horrible position, I offer you a synoposis of advice I found around the web:

When the student who has died was in your class or one of your classes this year, it will be a very emotional and difficult time for you and your students. The first days that you come back to class will be very different and emotionally charged. Here are some tips and ideas for you and your students.

* Share your emotions and memories. Make sure that you are the first one to speak in the beginning of the bell that first day back, and always make sure that you are sharing what you are going through with your students. You should be modeling what effective grief looks like.

* Have a new box of soft tissues available. School-issue boxes aren't very comforting.

* Sometimes, teachers want to be the "pillar of strength" for their students and think that it will be best to stay strong, not share their feelings or allow themselves to cry in front of the students. It is hard to be emotionally vulnerable in front of your students, but if they do not see you grieving, they will not think it is okay for them to grieve. Sharing what you are thinking and the emotions you are feeling is one of the most important actions that you need to take in those first days back at school.

* Allow the students to write a note or create a memory board. This will provide closure. Memory board instructions:

Have long white paper spread out in a hallway or in your classroom
Have colored markers spread out along the paper.
Explain that our memories are important to hold on to after our classmate and friend has died and sometimes it makes you feel better to make a physical representation of those memories.
Allow each student to decorate the paper in any way they want. They can draw pictures, write memories, write a letter to the student that died, or just sign his or her name. Anything appropriate can go on the paper.
When the students are done, ask them what they want to do with the paper. Should it be hung up somewhere in the class? Should it be given to the family? The choice is theirs.

* Go to the funeral and encourage your students to do the same. Every student and teacher should have the opportunity to go to the funeral. It is very important for you, as the student's teacher, to go to the service. It will mean a lot to the family and your surviving students. The opportunity to go to the funeral should also be extended to your class.

* Send home any of the student's work you still have in your graded pile. Make sure the paper you sends is memorable for some reason and put a personal note at the top.

*Try to resume normal classroom procedure as soon as possible, even on that first day. The subject matter will help you and your students to go beyond your grieving and into the thoughts about your subject matter.

* You also have the unpleasant task of what to do with that student's desk. If you are in a grade school where the child is in the same desk all day, you might make a simple sign or collage for the desk. If you are in a middle school or high school where students switch classes every bell, you are going to want to discuss with your students if there is anything special they want to do with that desk. Also be aware that the first time you switch seating arrangements will be difficult for some students.

* Never judge a student's grieving process. One of the principles of grief is that every person grieves differently and for a different length of time. As long as your student is grieving in a safe way, the way they're grieving is okay. Some students will never cry and some will not be able to stop crying. If a student is out of control, send him or her to the guidance office where there will likely be an army of counselors from other schools to help with your students.

* Take care of yourself. Make sure you are talking to someone about what you are feeling and how this death is affecting you. As a teacher, you may want to just focus on your students and how they are doing, but you must take time for yourself. If you find a time when you just cannot teach, go to an administrator and explain how you are feeling; tell them how you are being affected and just need an hour break. They should understand, because everyone will be in the same boat.

For other articles, go to http://performancepyramid.muohio.edu/pyramid/shared-best-practices/When-Grief-Comes-to-the-Classroom-through-Death/When-a-Student-Dies.html

On the value of music education ...

2011-12-16T07:38:00.000-05:00

Most research shows that when children are trained in music at a young age, they tend to improve in their math skills. One particular study published in the journal Nature showed that when groups of first graders were given music instruction that emphasized sequential skill development and musical games involving rhythmn and pitch, after six months, the students scored significantly better in math than students in groups that received traditional music instruction. Therefore, Once considered dispensable during budget cuts, music education is back on the agenda at school board meetings in many communities. Read more studies here - they're truly fascinating: http://www.educationworld.com/a_curr/curr123.shtml

Given that research and my own firm belief that classical music education increases a child's ability to concentrate and develops coordination, I offer this guest blog from www.nanny.net:

Studies abound regarding the effects of music on children. From the Mozart Effect to the question of violent lyrics, scientists are working to find out what exactly happens when the brain is exposed to different types of music. Most of the studies are still inconclusive but one thing is certain – music is an integral part of life, and for children, the older they get the more important music becomes. Schools have cut music programs due to budget deficits, so teaching music appreciation to children is often left to the parents. Here are some ideas to help you teach your kids to appreciate music more.

Start early – Studies show that even in infancy music has an impact on the human brain. They have also shown that classical music can lower the blood pressure and calm an upset infant. Singing simple songs to your children is the beginning of music appreciation.
Teach your child to sing – Fun little rhyming songs are very easy for children to learn, even with a very limited vocabulary. They will pick up the words and tune quickly and find that singing is a great way to lift their own spirits.
Music and dance – Expose your kids to different types of music through the avenue of dance. For example check out your local college or university to see if they have a dance series. This can be a wonderful way to show your children how culturally diverse music is, and they will enjoy seeing the different dance forms from a variety of cultures. Dancing to different styles of music is fun and an added bonus is the exercise it provides. You can teach the kids different rhythms as they move their feet to the beat of the music, and you can talk about the different types of music used in the dancing.
Show good music videos – Some kids enjoy watching music videos. There are also music videos that are inspiring, uplifting and just plain entertaining, such as Disney’s Fantasia and Fantasia 2000. Animusic has been featured on PBS and is a company that specializes in unique 3D computer generated music videos. Kids are intrigued by the images they see moving to even the subtlest of musical nuances. Many teachers use these videos to teach about tempo, harmony, rhythm, anticipation and other related concepts.
Introduce your child to an instrument – “If you make friends with an instrument you will have a friend for life.” Many great musicians will attest to this credo. Learning to play an instrument can lead to a life-long love of music. When possible, create opportunities for your child to see a soloist playing her particular instrument for inspiration. Keep in mind that the voice is an instrument also. Voice lessons can bring out a shy singer and work miracles for the tuneless. Always encourage your child even when you must suffer through the squeaks of the strings and squawks of the woodwinds or the wrong notes on the piano. Practice makes pretty good, if not perfect!
Sing in the car – A long trip can be made shorter and more fun by singing. Old standards can be enjoyable and teaching your kids some of the songs you grew up with can also be fun. Try harmonizing and singing to different rhythms. There is a plethora of sing-a-long CD’s and downloads available, so create a travel mix, and not only will your children appreciate the music more, they will also appreciate the fond memories of the family singing together on the trip to Grandma’s house.
Make a date – Many orchestras have children’s programs throughout the year. Take advantage of these opportunities and make a pleasurable date with your child. Dress up, attend the event, then go to lunch or dinner and have a discussion about the music. Find out what your child liked or didn’t like or what had the most impact. High school musicals, local church or community choir events and chamber concerts offer inexpensive alternatives to the more formal orchestra setting. The main thing is to choose an event that you feel your child will enjoy.

So, turn up the volume (just a little!) on the car radio and enjoy the effect on your children!

Happy parenting!

CPR for Babysitters

2011-12-14T07:09:00.001-05:00

Around the holidays, children tend to get into more serious trouble than any other time of year - there are small parts, poisonous plants, and preoccupied parents. Most parents, I would hope, know the basics of CPR, but does your babysitter when you're out at your Christmas party? Below is a guest blog post from www.babysitter.net:

You may think that CPR training is not important for a babysitter, who is only going to be taking care of kids for a few hours at a time. This is far from the truth. CPR training is very important for babysitters to have, no matter how infrequent their babysitting jobs and how short the time is that they are in care of the children. Here are five reasons why.

Caregiver – Any caregiver needs to know CPR. Being a caregiver means that you are the person responsible for the well-being of those you care for. In the case of a babysitter, you are responsible for the care and well-being of other people’s children. This is a very weighty responsibility and should be entered into with training that will cover as many different scenarios as possible.
Kids get into trouble – Kids do not fully understand all the dangers around them and seem to manage to find ways to get themselves into dangerous situations, no matter how hard you try to keep them safe. They find their way to water, which could drown them. They swallow things that can make them choke. They ingest things that can be harmful to them. They wrap things around their necks, put bags over their heads and shut themselves in small spaces. When a babysitter has more than one child in her care, at one time, it is especially easy to lose track of the most adventurous one. Even with just one, it is amazing how fast they can disappear, when you turn your back.
Emergencies cannot be predicted – To think that ‘nothing’ is going to happen in the few short hours that a babysitter is caring for children is naïve. Although, the risk may be lowered, it still remains. Emergency situations can happen at any time. They only take moments to develop; they cannot be predicted.
Time is of the essence – When a person has stopped breathing and/or their heart is no longer beating, you cannot wait for someone else to arrive; CPR needs to be started immediately. The longer a person’s brain is deprived of oxygen, the lower their chances of being revived and recovering. If a child should require CPR, while in a babysitter’s care, the babysitter is most likely the one who will need to provide it.
The only ‘adult’ in the house – The children are not the only ones, whom a babysitter may need to administer CPR to. Unexpected situations can arise where a babysitter may find themselves giving CPR to a parent, prior to or upon returning to the home. In other cases, it may be a neighbor who is in need of emergency assistance.

CPR training is important general knowledge for everyone once they reach their teenage years and beyond. Emergency situations can arise at any time and in any place. You never know when the sitter will be the only one available to administer CPR.

Here is a link that you can share with your babysitter and use as a refresher for yourself: http://depts.washington.edu/learncpr/infantcpr.html

Happy parenting!

Really, Mom?

2011-12-12T16:13:00.000-05:00

I was just coming into the women's locker room when a mother and her four-year-old daughter were leaving. Daughter had a pouty mouth and Mom had a furrowed brow. Neither was happy. Mom said, "So do you want to spend the rest of the day listening to what Mommy says or spend the rest of the day in your room? Which one would make you happy?" Obviously the mother didn't actually look for an answer because when the daughter failed to respond, Mom didn't press her for the reply. It's no wonder! If I had the choice of working for Hitler or staying in my room, I'd pick staying in my room! And I'll bet that poor little girl couldn't even opt for the room scenario. If she had, I can pretty much guarantee that Mom would yell for her to come downstairs - NOW! Mom was on the ultimate power trip and daughter was having a very bad day as a result.

Those of you who have been reading my blog regularly or who had me as a teacher would probably know how to change this from a dictator parent to an effective parent. Right - guided choices. I don't know what pouty mouth did or didn't do to deserve Mom's wrath, but let's assume she was dawdling, which I see frequently in the locker room. Mom could have said this: "We need to hurry so we can pick up your brother on time. Do you want me to help with your shoes or your shirt?" Hmmm... Pouty mouth gets a choice, angry mom gets some cooperation, and everyone leaves the locker room in a much better mood, offering the blogger little fodder for her blog!

This was a classic case of offering an ultimatum rather than a true choice. What's the difference, you ask? An ultimatum usually gives the child nothing she can live with (eat spinach or go to bed) when the parent knows which answer will ring the right bell with her. A guided choice will give the child the information she needs to comply (finish dinner) with the choices that BOTH parent and child can accept (one more spoonful of spinach or sweet potatoes). Granted, the child may not like either of those choices, so the parent should make sure he or she knows the child's taste before giving a choice like that.

Parenting isn't easy and it doesn't come with a step-by-step list of instructions, but with a little patience and creativity, offering guided choices will make your life easier.

Happy parenting!

Is your child moody?

2011-12-08T19:48:00.000-05:00

One day your child is happily skipping down the street to visit a neighbor. The next day, she's moping around the house, seemingly apathetic. Yet another day, she eagerly asks to help make cookies with you. Is there something wrong with this picture? Perhaps.

The first thing you should do is determine a pattern. Keep a mood calendar using specific words to describe your child's mood. Use the emotion thesaurus at this website if you need help putting your child's mood into words: http://thebookshelfmuse.blogspot.com/2008/01/introducing-thesaurus-thursdays.html. This will help a professional if you need a consultation.

When you plot the pattern, you can see whether you have a problem worthy of a professional intervention or one that you can treat by removing a trigger. That trigger might be a specific babysitter, a day when your child goes to the other parent, or a certain day of the week when he must stay after for extra help.

If you have a child who is moody to the point where she causes problems in school, at home, and with her friends, she needs professional help. Consider the likelihood of drug or alcohol abuse if the moodiness has a sudden onset.

Also called manic-depression, bipolar disorder is a mental illness that causes a person to cycle through abnormally high and low moods. It was once thought to be rare in children, so little attention was paid to the issue. But the latest research shows that not only can bipolar disorder begin very early in life -- as early as age 5, though it typically manifests in kids around the onset of puberty -- it’s much more common than ever imagined. In fact, according to the Juvenile Bipolar Research Foundation, the condition is now diagnosed in close to one million children and adolescents in the United States each year.

While a trip to the pediatrician may be the first stop, parents should realize that he or she probably isn’t trained to pick up on the symptoms of bipolar disorder, many of which mimic other more common disorders. Since bipolar has a strong genetic link, they should ask for a referral to a child psychiatrist or a psychiatrist who specializes in bipolar disorder, particularly if they know the illness is present in their family.

Be very careful. Consider the circumstances around your child's moodiness and try to determine if it's environmental before you consult a physician who may prescribe strong drugs to counteract an alleged physical problem. After all, parents know their children better than the professional. Notice your child's habits and see if you can talk through the source of the moodiness before jumping to any conclusions that will result in drastic intervention.

Effective parenting works!

Eight no-fuss ways to get kids to leave the park

2011-12-07T07:44:00.000-05:00

Today we have another guest blogger from www.hireananny.org. I couldn't have said it better myself!

How many times have you been at the park and seen a parent dragging a kicking and screaming kid to the car? They are screaming that they don’t want to go home. It’s no picnic to watch and witness another parent going through this with their child and it’s certainly no fun to go through it yourself. Are you destined to do battle with your child after every trip to the park? What can you do to get your kids to leave the park with no fussing? Check out 8 no-fuss ways to get kids to leave the park. These ways can probably help with leaving other places as well, but we’ll concentrate on the park.

Set expectations: Before going to the park tell your child that you will be walking (or driving) to the park and they will be allowed to play for an hour (or whatever you decide). Let them know that when you say it’s time to go that they will need to get up and leave without fussing so that they will be allowed to come back and play another day. Once you lay out the plan with your child they will be better prepared and no how they are supposed to act when it’s time to leave.
Buy in: Some kids do better if they get to have input in what is happening. You can give them 2 choices and make sure that either choice is good for you. You and the child can either feed the ducks at the pond or play at the park for an hour. Let your child choose and then explain that then that when it’s time to go they won’t throw a fit. Wait for them to agree that they won’t throw a fit when it’s time to go. Some children respond better when they are empowered and don’t feel like they never get to do what they want.
Warnings: No, not the kind of warning that you use to threaten your child, but warnings to let them know that it’s almost time to go. “Okay Johnny, we will be leaving in 15 minutes. Ten more minutes Johnny. Okay Johnny, start cleaning up because we are leaving in 5 minutes.” When the child knows what to expect then they are better able to cope with leaving.
Dangle a carrot: A real carrot is not necessary unless your child just loves to eat carrots. Often time’s kids will throw a fit when leaving the park because they feel like their fun is over. Letting the child know that when we get home we are going to have a cookie and some milk, or we are going to get out the Playdough, is enough to get them excited about leaving instead of dreading it.
Limit the time: Sometimes fussing is more a result of being overly tired than just about leaving. Make sure that you only stay for the amount of time that is appropriate for the age of the child. If the child is under 3 then maybe only stay 30-45 minutes. If the child is only you can extend it to an hour and if they are 5-7 maybe an hour and a half. That’s probably the most a young child can play and not be overly tired at the end.
Positive reinforcement: Give your child a gold star or something else that you come up with when he/she does what she is asked without fussing. Once your child collects 5 stars they will get to do something fun. Have lunch out with Daddy or have a friend over. Make sure that your child knows that they will earn a gold star on their chart if they leave the park without fussing. I would still give them a 10-minute warning just so they can be prepared that their time at the park is coming to an end. Remind them again at the warning that they will earn a gold star for their chart if they leave without fussing.
Avoid being out at naptime: Often children will be less able to deal with the disappointment of leaving if they are ready for a nap. Taking them to the park first thing in the morning when they are fresh is the best time to avoid tantrums when it’s time to leave. It’s still a good idea to let them know how long you will be there and not stay too long as well as giving them a 10-15 minutes warning that the time to go is approaching.
Bring a snack: Some children are more likely to throw fits when they have low blood sugar and are hungry. Sometimes it’s best to build in a snack time to your trip to the park. Let you child play for 30-45 minutes and then have them come over and get a snack. Let them know that after they enjoy their snack that it will be time to go. The snack serves a few different purposes here. First of all you are making sure that their blood sugar is not low when it’s time to go. Secondly, you are giving them a bridge activity between playing and leaving that will give them time to adjust to the idea of leaving. Thirdly, the snack is a fun thing to look forward to so you can say, “Okay, playtime is over, it’s time for a fun snack.” If the snack is indeed fun then the child will look forward to the next thing.

Happy parenting!

Twin Connections

2011-12-05T07:22:00.001-05:00

As the mother of twins and a singleton who are now all grown with homes of their own, I can look back fondly and remember all the fun times I had raising my girls. Gone are the less than memorable moments of cleaning soiled bed linens, midnight croup treatments, boyfriend rejections, and a myriad of other problems. So, I thought I'd make the lives of the twin parents a bit easier by filtering some websites and links for your review:

http://www.twinstalk.com/ - Lots of parent-to-parent advice about the day-to-day effort of raising twins.

Chicken Soup for the Soul: Twins and More - Inspirational reading for those times when you know you've added five gray hairs for every waking hour!

Juggling Twins - Well not really, but you get the idea!

http://www.twinsdoctor.com/ - Advice from a doctor who is also the mother of twins. You can't argue with those credentials!

http://www.raising-twins.com/ - Tons of advice and links to more advice. If you can't find the answer here, it doesn't exist!

http://www.nomotc.org/ - The National Organization of Mothers of Twins clubs. What? You're not a member? Start a chapter in your area.

http://www.twinslaw.com - Yes, even twins can have their own special laws, especially if parents want to have their childen separated (or together) in certain school districts.

Raising Twins: From Pregnancy to Preschool - Common sense solutions to some uncommon problems.

Raising twins is really no different from raising two children born at different times. Parents need to be careful that they raise their children as individuals, rather than as a subset of each other. This leads to lifelong dependency on another person, which is not emotionally healthy. I dressed my girls differently, put them in different classes through elementary school, and even gave them separate birthday parties on succeeding weekends. I would have done the same for two children born a week apart in two different years. So, when I found one of my twins becoming the non-dominant twin, I sent her to one of those Outward Bound style camps in the Adirondacks to develop independent thinking. She joined five other tweens and two leaders for a week of intensive orienteering and self-reflection. To this day, my daughter says it was the best thing I ever did for her. The experience was rather expensive at the time, but worth every penny in producing the strong, independent woman that she is today. Maybe I should write one of the resources I've linked you all to above!

Happy Twin Parenting!

Consider your child's motivation - Part 4: Withdrawal

2011-12-02T07:03:00.000-05:00

Adults have exhibited this form of misbehavior for generations -- quite literally! You know them - the people who say they haven't talked to their parents for years becuase of an arguement they had when they were twenty-five. Or then there's the classic case of the Hatfields and McCoys. When people determine that they don't like another person, they decide that they don't need to talk to them - ever again! Let's see how that works with children.

WITHDRAWAL - When I was a child, this was my favorite form of classic misbehavior. My mother would yell at me for something I had allegedly done wrong, so I'd stomp up the stairs to my room and slam the door behind me. I'd stay there for hours, sometimes through my mother's continued reprimands outside of my door. But I was safe inside the sanctuary of my room. Years later, that same behavior showed up when I had my own children. We'd have an argument about something and I'd get in the car and leave for a while to calm down. The car became my new sanctuary. Perhaps this was more of a defense mechanism than misbehavior, but it's still considered mis-behavior because it's not what should have been happening.

Why is this considered misbehavior? Because it's simply not emotionally healthy to withdraw from the situation. Psychologists will agree that talking through a problem with another person is the best way to solve that problem. Walking away solves nothing. Counting to ten before opening your mouth definitely has its advantages in discretion, but total withdrawal from the situation is unhealthy and can lead to lifelong abandonment from family and friends.

Sometimes children just give up when they think they can’t get the attention they need. They may not do what you ask, or they may do it so poorly that you won’t ask them to do it again. They may offer excuses like “I can’t” or “That’s too hard.” They may simply withdraw from you or the family so that you won’t ask them to do anything. If you feel helpless or like you don’t know what to do, your child’s motive of misbehaving may be withdrawal. Help your child to understand that he or she can always come to you with problems. When they're teenagers, you'll be very glad for the open lines of communication!

Happy Parenting!

Consider your child's motivation - Part 3: Revenge

2011-12-01T07:39:00.001-05:00

Ah, sweet revenge! It is a crime of imitation and offers a momentary catharsis, but the feeling is not long-lasting. If somebody hurts you, your knee-jerk reaction is to hurt that person right back. If a child feels wronged or hurt by others, he or she may seek revenge. It may be simply by saying, “I hate you." Sometimes children get revenge by destroying something that belongs to you or to the person who hurt them. If you feel hurt, disappointed, or shocked by your child’s actions, your child may be seeking revenge.

REVENGE - Consider this scenario: When my twins were about four years old, they were responsible for making their own bed after they got dressed. Their rooms looked relatively neat throughout the day and their beds welcomed them again at night. One day, I must have blamed the wrong twin for a misdemeanor (I really don't remember the cause of this scenario now 27 years later!). To get even with her sister for not speaking up about being blameless, she did the ultimate revenge on her sister. Yep, she UNmade her bed and messed it up. I tried not to laugh at the simple act of retribution, however it was that act that showed me who actually should have been blamed for the initial problem. As I recall, I sat both of them down and discussed revenge with one and apology with the other. The rest of the day went much better!

According to child psychiatrist Rudolph Dreikurs, "A child who seeks revenge is really hoping to find love. Their vengeful behavior is showing us that they feel so bad about themselves, and so misunderstood, that they are resorting to wanting others to feel what they feel. Respond with affection and caring. 'I really care about you and I didn't raise you to be vengeful. That's why I have asked you to go to your room now until you can treat us better.' Don't engage in the power struggle, remove the audience (siblings, friends, etc), and insist on a logical, dispassionate consequence."

I firmly believe that if parents help children to understand that revenge is not an acceptable form of retaliation, that our prisons would have many empty cells. What are alternatives to revenge?

Communicate - if you tell the other person how you feel and why you were hurt, the other person will be emotionally hurt by the explanation.
Walk away - By denying the other person the negative attention, you are thereby cancelling the other person's wrongful intent.
Re-think - When you restructure your thinking and tell yourself that the other person needs your help more than your revenge, you'll feel better about the situation.
Forgive - Forgive the other person for the hurtful behavior and redirect your activities to something more positive.

The alternatives to revenge are not easy becuase of our natural fight or flight reaction, but with practice, you can help your children to eliminate revenge from their emotional vocabulary.

Happy parenting!

Consider your child's motivation - Part 2: Attention

2011-11-30T07:37:00.000-05:00

You've heard it many times before: "Ignore him, he's just looking for attention." JUST looking for attention? Don't we all crave attention of some sort? Women like to receive flowers once in a while "JUST because." Men JUST want a pat on the back for a job well done within their job description, whether at home or at work. Everyone JUST wants to be recognized as a person who is appreciated by those around them. Why are children any different? They may look for positive attention in negative ways because they don't know any different. When they throw a temper tantrum, the well-meaning parent may give the child plenty of attention by yelling right back at her. A better approach would be to give negative attention for negative behavior (walk away and ignore the tantrum!) Then when the child is doing something right no matter how small (like coloring within the lines), it's our job as parents to recognize the little successes in life so children learn that they can get positive attention for positive behavior.

ATTENTION - Consider this scenario: Many years ago, I was at the home of my daughter's friend and his younger sister. Their mother had gone off to work, leaving two teenagers at home to fend for themselves (more on that topic in another blog!) The big brother made dinner - a steak on the barbecue with a baked potato and a salad. Not bad for a 16-year-old boy! He set the plate down in front of his sister and that's where the trouble began. She said, "Would you cut my steak?" She was 14 and totally capable of cutting her own steak. He retorted, "Cut your own (bleep) steak." She whined back, "Pleeeese?" The converstion repeated like a stuck sound track. At that I could see a nice dinner turning into a shouting match, so I pulled my daughter's friend aside and explained about motivation. I told him that she didn't really want her steak cut. "Yes, she does," he responded. "Not really," I said. Then I told him that she simply wanted her older brother to take care of her in a way that their mother was not doing at that time. He misted up then went in and silently cut his sister's steak. I left and he later told me that they actually enjoyed their dinner together. Crisis averted! To this day, if his own children seem to be demanding undue attention, he'll look at me and say, "They want their steak cut, right?" I simply smile and nod.

The most common reason children misbehave is to get attention. When adults don’t give children needed attention, they will try to find other ways to get it. Unfortunately, we don’t always see the positive things children do to get attention, like making good grades in school or doing their chores at home. Instead, we are most likely to notice them when they do something that we don’t like. Children would rather have negative attention than no attention at all. If we give children attention only when they act up, we teach them that misbehaving is the best way to get our attention, and they act up even more. If we give children attention only when they are doing things that please us, we teach them that behaving is the best way to get the attention they want. If you feel annoyed, irritated, or guilty by your child’s misbehavior, the child probably is seeking attention. So, ignore the negative attention-getting devices and reward (hugs, recognition, etc.) the positive attempts to gain parental attention.

Happy Parenting!

Consider your child's motivation - Part 1: Power

2011-11-29T05:40:00.001-05:00

Children misbehave in a variety of ways, but they have only four common motivations for misbehavior: Power, Attention, Revenge, and Withdrawal. When a child acts up, consider the motivation, and you'll be better able to handle the behavior. I'll look at each one separately over the next four posts.

POWER - Yesterday, I witnessed the following exchange between a mother and her daughter in the gym locker room... Mom wanted Julie to put her shoes on. Julie refused, whining she wanted Mom to put them on for her. (That last sentence is the clue to the motivation for the misbehavior.) Mom insisted that Julie is quite able to put her own shoes on. Julie became even more irate. Finally, Mom picks up Julie in the ultimate control move. Angry Mom and angry Julie leave the gym with Julie wailing and Mom stomping. How might that scenario have changed? If Mom had realized that Julie simpy wanted to regain control for some reason (sometimes we never know the reason, but we can see the motivation), then she should have stated her position, given a reason, and then offered choices: "Julie, you need to put your shoes on because your feet will get cold on the concrete outside. Which shoe do you want to put on first? (Or ... which shoe do you want to put on? I'll put on the other.) I'm willing to bet a million dollar inheritance that both would have left the gym hand in hand!

Children may misbehave to show that they have control over their lives. Children want to do things for themselves and to think for themselves. If parents don’t let children have some power to make decisions when they are ready, children may misbehave by going against what their parents want them to do, as Julie did in the above scenario. If you feel like winning the fight or proving that you are the boss when your child misbehaves, the child is probably seeking power. There’s nothing wrong with a child wanting power over her parents – that’s a perfectly natural way for kids to behave. How you react as a parent determines how that power struggle will turn out. Look for a win-win compromise where both the child and the parent can feel in control. That usually happens with the guided choice I illustrated above.

This happens in classrooms and at home. Too often, the teach dictates (yes, that's a form of the word dictator) what will happen next: take out your books, do this worksheet, fill out this lab report, write down your homework assignment, line up for lunch, etc. etc. etc. Teachers, think if ways to give control back to your students and I think you'll find that you'll regain some classroom management control in the process!

Happy Parenting and Happy Teaching!

10 games to play on car trips

2011-11-28T10:21:00.000-05:00

With the holiday season approaching, many families travel many miles to be with family. Here are a few games to keep the kiddies amused for a while from www.aupair.org:

Car trips. They can be every parent’s worst nightmare when travelling with kids. No one can ever seem to coordinate wanting to stop to eat at the same place or the same time, everyone has to go to the bathroom at different times, and it’s inevitable that you will hear someone say “I’M BORED” at least a hundred different times. Not to mention even siblings who are the best of friends outside of the car can turn into the worst of enemies on car trips, enticing fights with each other by hogging seat space or finding various ways to annoy their backseat companions. Even the shorter car trips can seem inexplicably long when you have kids fighting with each other and endlessly complaining. And as much as we hate to admit it, after hours in the car listening to bickering and bantering, our worst sides tend to pop out and we utter phrases we used to hate hearing our own parent’s yell at us, such as “If I have to pull this car over …” and “Do NOT touch your sister again!”.

Yes, car trips. They’re an unavoidable fight just waiting to happen. So what can you do to pacify your kids and ease your own mental pain for at least part of the trip? Play car games, of course! When the hours of driving boredom are setting in it’s a great way to have some fun, break up the tension, and getting everyone involved. After a few minutes you’ll see even the most reluctant participants cracking a smile and chiming in with their contributions.

I Spy… Probably the most famous of car games, I Spy has pacified kids for years upon years of car trips. It’s also incredibly easy to play – you just appoint the person doing the “spying” and pick out an upcoming object. In a sing-song voice you declare “I spy something… (insert color)” and your kiddos will start frantically looking around trying to figure out which landmark or sign you’re looking at that has the defining color, shouting out answers until someone stumbles on the right one.
The Alphabet Game - This was a favorite from my own childhood. With this game participants start with the letter “A” and look for the letters on license plates, billboards, restaurant signs, and anything with words on it and call out the letters of the alphabet and the word you found in which you found the letter in order until they reach “Z”. While some letters are easier than others to find, it’s always a hunt as to who can find something with the letter “J” in it and other obscure letters not often used. For instance, if there was a McDonald’s sign and you were on the letter “M” you’d call out “M! On the McDonald’s sign!”
The Counting Game - Playing the counting game is great for teaching small children how to count – you just pick a certain thing to count – such as cows, black trucks, number of Taco Bells, etc. – and then start counting as you pass by them. You’ll be amazed how many of the same things you see over and over on the roads.
Celebrity Name Game - With this game you start with a certain celebrity, such as Angelina Jolie, and the next person has to name off another celebrity whose first name starts with the first letter of the previous person’s last name. So in the case, if you started the game with “Angelina Jolie” the next person could respond by saying “Jennifer Aniston”, and then the next person would say “Anne Hathaway”, etc. This game is good for older kids and you can apply the same principles to other things such as states or cities.
The License Plate Game - Since there is an infinite number of license plates on the road this is an easy and fun game to play to pass the time. You start by calling out the letters on a license plate and then making up a silly string of words to go with them. So if the license plate had the letters WJQ on it you could yell out “Water Jumping Quickly”! Each person can come up with a different combination of words for the license plate’s letters, making it a fun game that involves everyone in the car.
20 Questions - Who doesn’t love a good game of 20 questions? Pick a person to be the answerer of the questions and then have them pick an object, animal, etc. Traditionally players will start off the game by asking if it’s an animal, vegetable or mineral. So if the question answerer picked a cow they would answer that it’s an animal. From there the other participants can ask questions that dictate a “yes” or “no” answer until someone guesses the correct answer.
Fortunately-Unfortunately - This fun game also involves everyone in the car and is a good way to break up the time. A player will start by saying something ridiculous like “Unfortunately a dinosaur is coming to eat us” and another player will respond by saying “Fortunately I brought an invisibility cloak to hide us”. Players alternate who says the “unfortunately” scenario and who answers. Aside from being a fun way to pass the time, kids will also learn to look for the good in situations.
My Father Owns a Grocery Store… You will have fun testing memory skills with this game. A player will begin by saying, “my father owns a grocery store and in it he sells (something that begins with the letter A, such as artichokes)”. The next person will then follow with, “my father owns a grocery store and in it he sells artichokes and (something that starts with the letter B, such as beets)”. The game continues with each player repeating what the others have said and adding on something that starts with the next letter of the alphabet.
The Storytelling Game - One person will start this game by giving the first sentence of a story, and then the next person will follow with another sentence adding onto the storyline. Each person in the car will keep adding in their own tidbits to the story, and your family will love all the different twists and turns that each person will add to the tale.
The Theme Song Game - A player will hum a theme song to a popular song – it can be a children’s song, one from a TV show, etc. – and the other players will have to guess which song it is. For example you could hum the tune of “Happy Birthday” for a few verses and then the other players would have to guess the song you’re humming. This is a great game for little kids to play with their parents on trips.

Car trips may invoke feelings of dismay when you first start out, but they don’t have to be something that everyone dreads. Instead get the whole family talking and laughing by playing one or more of these popular car games. Not only will it keep everyone happy, but it will make the time fly by and before you know it you’ll have reached your destination and everyone will still have a smile on their face.

Happy parenting and happy traveling!

8 Reasons to Love your stubborn child

2011-11-27T07:24:00.000-05:00

Parents of a stubborn child can find it exasperating. They will obstinately refuse to do what they’re told and defy discipline with a steely determination. What most people fail to see is how stubbornness can be a positive attribute. There are many ways headstrong children can have an advantage over the more docile counterparts. Here are 8 reasons to love your stubborn child.

Perseverance – A stubborn child is going to be much better at accomplishing difficult tasks because they have perseverance. If at first they don’t succeed they will keep trying until they get the results they desire. From learning to tie their shoes to figuring out a complicated math problem, these kids will doggedly keep trying until they get it done. This is a great advantage over other children who tend to give up easily.
Can’t be bullied – Childhood bullies have gotten to be a big problem, so stubbornness can give a kid the toughness they need to stand up for themselves. No playground bully is going to push them around. The defiance they show to their parents easily translates to other situations, so the local bully doesn’t stand a chance.
Mental fortitude – This toughness will also help kids to develop the strong mental fortitude they need as they grow from childhood to adults. Mental toughness will help them to succeed in many aspects of their lives and make it easier for them to cope with stress or traumatic events. The demands of college, the military or a prestigious career are more easily met by the people who used to be stubborn kids.
Schoolwork – Children who give up easily are going to have a harder time learning difficult problems in their schoolwork than those who are more resolute. Whether this results in getting better grades depends on each child’s mental capabilities, but stubbornness can be an advantage to even learning disabled children. Teachers and parents should encourage stubborn kids to channel their determination into their homework.
Employment – Once kids get old enough to get a job, the stubborn ones will be more likely to find employment and keep it. It takes strong perseverance to find work in a bad economy, especially for teens. If their determination pays off, their employers will be pleased if they apply their stubbornness to their work ethic. Stubborn kids can be good workers.
Sports – Another way a headstrong kid can excel is in sports. What they may lack in physical ability can be made up for with sheer determination. Stubborn kids are very competitive and will not give up until they make the team or are the best in their field. They can channel their obstinacy into succeeding at whatever sport they choose.
Successful career – That successful doctor, lawyer or actor you admire probably used to be a stubborn child. The bullheaded kids are much better equipped to succeed at whatever careers they choose. Their ability to persevere will vault them to the top of the corporate ladder.
Survival – Another reason being stubborn can be good for a kid is pure survival. Whether it’s illness, injury or a natural disaster, those who aren’t willing to give up will overcome any obstacle to survive. Stubbornness is a key element in personal survival.

So the next time you encounter your child’s stubborn streak, turn the negatives into a positive. Parents would be wise to recognize the potential of their bullheaded kids and help them to use their stubbornness to their advantage. By channeling that willful determination, these children are much more likely to succeed in life. In this dog eat dog world, survival of the fittest reigns supreme. The stubborn kids are better equipped to deal with whatever comes their way.

Thanks from the folks at www.findababysitter.org for this insightful blog post!

Happy Parenting!

Politically Incorrect Fairy Tales

2011-11-25T06:12:00.001-05:00

I've never been a proponent of fairy tales and nursery rhymes (Down will come come baby cradle and all - really, folks?), so when I found this marvelous tongue-in-cheek analysis of common fairy tales at www.babysitters.net, I had to share their thoughts on my blog. The message is strong: When you read to your children or students, make sure you help them understand about sexism, ageism, sizeism, and any other assorted forms of discrimination that you find.

The famous fables and fairy tales that earlier generations of children grew up with are being re-written or are completely falling out of favor with those who aspire to “Political Correctness”. What people don’t realize is that many of these tales have been “sanitized” repeatedly over the years, having started as truly gruesome stories. In early versions of the “Cinderella” tale, the two cruel sisters mutilated themselves in order to fit into the slipper, and the two of them ended up as blind beggars when birds pecked out their eyes.

Most stories and lore evolve over time, and fairy tales are no different. Here are some examples of old stories that have come under the modern microscope.

Rapunzel – This grim tale from the brothers Grimm is too dark, say many people today. They point out that this story contains violent imagery, blatant sexism, and criminal child abuse. Imagine, a little girl being given up for adoption by thieving parents, only to find that the poor child is then placed in solitary confinement, and only a man can save her.
Cinderella – In a corrected version, Cinderella might not be burdened by cruel sisters and the sexist drudgery of menial housework. Instead, she might end up stuck in a dead-end office job, just like everyone else.
Goldilocks and the Three Bears – Another potential “Amber Alert” situation, though there does not appear to be any great hue-and-cry over a missing girl’s whereabouts. Didn’t anyone in the olden days have any parents (historical note: when some of these tales were first written, life-expectancies were only in the 30s, so there probably were a lot of parent-less children)?
Jack and the Beanstalk – Why is it never “Jane and the Beanstalk”? Well, it is probably just as well. Jack turns out to be a little thief who doesn’t follow his mother’s instructions very well. He steals from an ogre, and then kills the poor guy to boot. In today’s version, Jack might have just gone out to get a job so he could help his poor mom out, and he certainly wouldn’t have jeopardized his future by stooping to thievery and murder.
Sleeping Beauty – Another motherless story, this one also involves probable nudity. When the king forbade the spinning of all materials in order to thwart a witches curse, the realm probably ran out of clothing for the citizenry. This is another one where it’s a guy rescuing a girl in trouble, instead of maybe the other way around.
Hansel and Gretel – Wrong in so many ways, this tale involves child-abuse, spousal abuse, inhumane treatment of captives and poor nutrition. The modern version might have the cottage windows made of Splenda rather than clear sugar.
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs – The term “dwarf” has come under fire in recent years, but “Frozen Caucasian Water and the Seven Altitude Challenged People” isn’t a title the folks over in Marketing are looking for.
Red Riding Hood – “Sam ‘The Sham’ and the Pharaohs” admonished Red, singing that she shouldn’t “. . .go walking in these spooky old woods alone”. Good advice for a small child who was sent, unattended by a parent, to visit an aging relative who was probably in need of 24-hour in-home care. Of course, there is also the wolf, a stalker and an abuser of the elderly.
The Pied Piper – The Piper of the tale was obviously a cult-leader who had lured not only the rats, but also the children of the beleaguered township of Hamelin. The Pied Piper obviously had anger-management issues, which might have been addressed with classes and counseling in a modern version of the story.
The Emperor’s New Clothes – This tale has a pair of swindling tailors hoodwinking a vain emperor into thinking that the “nothing” they have made for him is a fine suit of clothing. A little kid busts the scam wide open, but the emperor is held out as the selfish patriarch that he is.

Almost every story has elements that may not suit future generations. Who knows, in a few hundred years, Cinderella’s step-sisters may turn out to be kind and gentle care-givers.

Happy Parenting and Happy Teaching!

10 Common Ways That Kids Show Disrespect For Their Nanny or Babysitter

2011-11-23T07:06:00.000-05:00

This guest blog comes from www.liveinnanny.com, but the advice applies not only to nannies, but also to babysitters and a step-parent. Disrespect should never be tolerated with anyone.

Even the most well-behaved child can have trouble adjusting to a full-time childcare provider, especially if they’re accustomed to having a parent at home during the day. Here are some signs that your youngster may be finding the adjustment difficult.

“You’re Not My Mom!” – Kids know how powerful a weapon this phrase can be, and will not hesitate to use it if they get upset enough. If it’s brought to your attention that this is becoming a problem, it may be time to sit down with your child and have a talk about what’s causing the behavior.
Going Over Nanny’s Head – As tempting as it is to solve the problem that an unhappy child presents, it’s important never to undermine your nanny’s authority. Once this precedent is set, it will be nearly impossible for her to regain control.
Ignoring or Defying Commands – Defiant behavior and deliberately ignoring requests to do chores or homework is one of the most common ways a child displays their lack of respect for the person in authority. Be sure to keep an eye out for signs of this behavior, as it can be very difficult to correct if left unchecked for too long.
Blatant Disregard For Rules – If your child knows bed time is at eight, but is still running wild when you get home at nine, it may be time for a conversation with your nanny. If you find that there’s an established pattern of flagrant rule-breaking, this could be a sign that there are respect issues between your child and the nanny.
Invading Personal Space – Your live-in nanny’s quarters are often the only place that she can view as a sanctuary. It’s very important to explain to your children that Nanny’s space is her own, and is off-limits unless they’ve been invited. A child that frequently ignores this request is being disrespectful of the boundaries you and your nanny have set in place.
Ignoring a Live-In Nanny’s Off Hours – Much like her personal space, your nanny’s free time must be just that. Children that don’t respect their nanny will often place unfair demands on her, such as expecting her to attend to their needs when she’s off the clock.
Breaking Curfew – A child that has no respect for their caregiver will often ignore curfews and time limits. Aside from creating a stressful work environment for your nanny, it may be dangerous for the child.
Lying – One of the most common signs of disrespect, habitual dishonesty can cause chaos in a household. Untrue statements made by a child to a parent about the nanny’s behavior may injure the trust that parent has, straining the relationship and even leading to the loss of the nanny’s services. Try to give your nanny the benefit of the doubt, at first, especially if your child has a history of stretching the truth.
Frequent Temper Tantrums – A child that throws themselves on the floor to scream every time they’re gently reprimanded or asked to complete a task is a nanny’s worst nightmare. Most children will only attempt this behavior with people they think will allow it, but it can also be a sign of defiance.
Talking Back and Arguing – This is par for the course with most teenagers, but if your younger child is in the habit of arguing with your nanny or talking back to her, it’s a clear sign of disrespect.

While good communication is a key part of your relationship with a childcare provider, it’s also important to be observant. A nanny with a soft heart may be hesitant to “tattle” on your child and may not be developing the respect needed; also, acting out can be a sign that your child is under stress. Either way, quietly keeping your eye on the interaction between your child and their caregiver is imperative.

Happy parenting!

Little Beggars

2011-11-22T19:55:00.000-05:00

I support the Girl Scouts when they sell cookies (I donate my portion to the troops.) I support the Boy Scouts when they sell popcorn (I donate those boxes to the troops, as well - I don't need all those carbs anymore!) I even support the local high school band boosters when they sell their $20 discount cards. But I have a huge problem when organizations stand by the door to the supermarket or WalMart with a bucket, expecting handouts. I look at it this way. If a sports team needs money, their participants are strong enough to work for their donations, right? If the soccer team canvassed our neighborhood at this time of year and offered to rake my yard for $X, I'd gladly pay what they charged. I'd be happy, my yard would be leaf-free, and the kids would have money for their trip to the soccer competition. I'd even be more likely to donate to the cheerleaders if they did one of their routines in front of the store. Or to the football team if they helped carry my bags to the car.

When did it become acceptable for children to become beggars? What does this teach them? That begging on a street corner will get them free money for doing nothing at all except smiling at the people walking by who have money in their wallets. Did I say begging on a street corner? Last summer, the girls' softball team had a coin toss in the middle of town on Memorial Day weekend, catching all the unsuspecting shore traffic as people sped through town on their way to vacation. Not only does this send the wrong message to the kids, it's downright dangerous!

So, leaders and coaches, listen up - teach your young participants the value of hard work or getting something (anything!) for your money rather than begging for money. I will refuse to donate to you every time if you beg; offer me something and I'll support your effort!

Happy coaching!

Stop bullying your children

2011-11-21T07:37:00.000-05:00

We all do it - we yell at them when we're tired, we order tem around, we tell them what's in their best interest, and we expect them to follow us around like little serfs. If you observed this behavior on the playground, you'd likely haul the child into the principal's office and accuse him of bullying the other kids. Is it any wonder, then, that bullying has become epidemic around the world? Instead of helping children to stop bullying, perhaps we should educate the parents on how to stop bullying their kids. When children have positive role models that don't bully them, they will be less likely to bully others.

Families where discipline is inconsistent and where there is little warmth and adult attention are more likely to raise children who bully. The children in those families are looking for positive attention for negative behavior. Conversely, families where discipline is harsh and unwarranted, are also more likely to raise children who bully. That's the role model scenario - a child who is physically or emotionally abused knows no other way to get what he wants from his peers than to use the same behavior as his parents.

Hmmm... there must be a happy medium between inconcistent and harsh discipline, right? There is - it's called democratic parenting. Consistent, fair discipline teaches self-control and responsibility. Warmth and time spent together teach connection and empathy.

Yes, I know it's difficult at the end of your own difficult day to deal with quarreling kids, but you must adjust your mind set from yelling at them to stop fighting to asking them to sit down and calmly discuss their differences. Yep, I know that's not always going to work, either. However, when the children see that you calmly react to their problem, they'll be more likely to calmly react in the future and on the playground with their peers.

Do you use sarcasm? (I'm going to start buying you baby clothes because that's how you're behaving.) This teaches kids that verbal bullying is acceptable.

Do you call your kids names? (Don't be so stupid!) This is another example they can follow for verbal bullying.

Do you slap or spank your children? This sets them up to accept physical bullying.

Do you get even with your kids? (Fine, if you're going to be like that, then I won't ....) This shows them that retaliation is an effective means to gain cooperation.

The bottom line is that your own bullying, whethere with your kids, their coach, or their teacher, will provide a negative role model for them. So, when your child's principal calls and says your child has been bullying another student, don't look at the child's behavior, look at your own! And then change your parenting style to be more supportive, understanding, and accepting of your child's inevitable mistakes. Spend quality time with them so they know they are wanted and needed by the persons who matter the most to them. Show them how a non-bullying person reacts to a disagreement. You'll be glad you did when they are adults!

Happy parenting!

School Lunches vs. Government

2011-11-19T07:56:00.001-05:00

First, read this article in the New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/16/us/politics/congress-blocks-new-rules-on-school-lunches.html?_r=1&src=tp&smid=fb-share

Now consider the ramifications....

In the twenty years that I taught at a local high school, I gained 60 lbs, which I managed to lose over the past two years since retirement. I ate the school lunches much of the time while my girls were little and I had no time to prepare a fresh lunch for myself. So, in the interest of time, I ate the breaded (translate that to fried) chicken sandwich (see all the carbs?), french fries (more carbs), and a can of soda from the faculty room vending machine (not diet - I don't like the aftertaste, so yes, more carbs). As a Family Consumer Sciences teacher, I should have known better, but I disregarded my education in the interest of convenience.

Young bodies are still getting the same very poor nutritional choices at lunch. Is it any surprise then that our children are overweight? We force them to sit all day long in their seats, then feed them fat and carbs at lunch. Their only exercise is during their gym classes and walking through the hallways.

I'm sure a creative cafeteria manager could develop ways to serve nutritious foods that children won't discard while that person also considers the cost to the school district. I agree that carbs are inexpensive foods. Protein in the form of meat and dairy products is more expensive. And fresh fruits and vegetables the most expensive. Why is it that the healthiest foods are the most expensive? I don't have a good answer for that question.

Perhaps the Federal Government should be considering ways to subsidize only the healthy parts of the school lunch program. Districts would pay full price for the carbs, fats, and sweets while the government subsidizes the healthier proteins and fresh produce. Hmmm... nifty idea - think it would fly?

In addition, schools need to implement healthy eating programs in much the same way that they implement anti-bullying and character development programs. After all, the health of our future citizens is in the hands of bureaucrats more worried about their support bloc than the health of the children of their constituents.

What's more important - economy or health? Personally, I don't think we should have to decide! So until the government gets its priorities straight, I recommend something I should have done thirty years ago: Get up fifteen minutes earlier to prepare a health bring-to-school lunch for you and your children. Here are some helpful links:
http://www.healthychild.com/healthy-school-lunches/healthy-school-lunch-ideas-for-kids/
http://www.parents.com/kids/nutrition/lunch/healthy-school-lunches-snacks/
http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/recipes/healthy/ideas-kids-school-lunches

Happy parenting and Happy teaching!

Top Ten Reasons Parents Choose a Nanny over Day Care

2011-11-17T07:03:00.001-05:00

When parents are considering childcare options, daycare centers will generally be one of the possibilities on the list. There are several reasons why a family may choose a nanny to meet their childcare needs instead of a daycare center. Here are the 10 top reasons that parents give.

Work schedules – Finding a daycare center that has hours which fit variable work schedules for two spouses can be difficult to do. With a nanny, a schedule of hours can be determined ahead of time that will fully meet the parent’s needs.
Safety – Even though licensed daycare centers are limited in the number of children per worker that are allowed, some families still are uncomfortable leaving their children in the care of individuals that are caring for a large number of children at the same time.
Convenience – The fact that parents don’t have to take the children out of the house in the morning or pick them up again at the end of the day is a great convenience and time saver for the parents.
Exposure to illness – Daycare centers, like schools, are places where viruses and germs are often shared among the children, no matter how hard the daycare provider attempts to prevent these situations. Keeping the children in the home, limits their exposure to illness.
Personal attention – A nanny has no other children to attend to (in most cases) than your children. Parents can be assured that their children’s personal needs are not being overlooked.
Chauffeuring kids – Parents want their kids to have the opportunity to participate in extra-curricular activities. A nanny can also serve as the kid’s chauffeur to these activities or to and from school, a service not available through most daycare centers.
Flexibility – When engaging a daycare, parents are told what the rules are and how the daycare handles situations. With a nanny, a family has more flexibility in coming up with an agreement that fits their specific needs.
Specialty needs – Children with special physical needs cannot always be accommodated at a traditional daycare center. A nanny working in the home will have everything she needs to care for the child, right in the home.
New infants – Most daycare centers do not accept newborn infants. For parents needing childcare help during the early weeks, a nanny can provide professional care for the infant and professional support to the parents.
Extra duties – Many nannies are contracted to perform some light household duties along with their childcare duties. This is not an option available when using a daycare center.

There are many advantages for a family that chooses a nanny to meet their childcare needs. The personalized service of in-home childcare can hardly be compared with the setting of a daycare which is providing services to many different families at the same time.

This is a guest blog from http://www.fulltimenanny.com/ Their website is filled with helpful suggestions regarding nannies and basic child care.

Happy parenting!

10 Things a Nanny Just Can't Do in Public to the Kids

2011-11-16T06:49:00.000-05:00

by Ken (guest blogger from nannypro.com)

Yes, you’re right; in many of these cases it isn’t a matter of public or private, they shouldn’t be doing them at all. But for any nanny out there that thinks they can do what they want with the kids, when their parents aren’t watching, there are other people watching who care about kids too.

Change their diapers – Now this may not seem like a big deal, but diapers do not need to be changed in a public place. A public restroom would be acceptable, but laying the child down in the middle of the shopping mall to change their diaper is not appropriate.
Physical punishment – Hitting, spanking or slapping a child is not an appropriate disciplinary measure for a nanny under any circumstances. It can generally be assumed that if she uses physical punishment on the children when they are in public, she certainly is using it behind closed doors.
Leave them unattended – Leaving children in a car in the parking lot or sitting by themselves in a restaurant booth, while the nanny runs an errand or attends to other personal needs could be considered child endangerment, which is a crime. The nanny’s number one priority needs to be the welfare of the children at all times.
Berate them – Belittling kids for any reason is not appropriate for any mature adult. It is inexcusable from someone who is supposed to be a trained childcare provider. This is certainly as true in a private setting as it is in a public setting. Words hurt!
Claim them as her own – Why a nanny would do this is hard to fathom, but her working relationship to the children should always be made clear if it is questioned in a public or a private setting.
Complain about their parents – Although there may be times when a nanny has legitimate frustrations with her employers, she should be responsible and mature enough to avoid voicing those frustrations and complaints to other individuals, when she has the children with her. The conflict between parents and nanny can be a very confusing issue for children.
Take on parental roles – When a nanny is in public with the entire family, children and parents, the nanny’s role becomes secondary to that of the parents. A nanny should never usurp the role of the parents in a public setting where the parents are available to handle their children themselves.
Expose them to inappropriate situations – Taking children into any establishment that might expose them to lewd behavior, vile language or adults who are intoxicated would never have a reasonable excuse. Endangering children’s minds and well-being would be a reason for immediate dismissal of a nanny.
Leave them in the care of strangers – A nanny should never trust the care of any her charges to a stranger in a public place. Even in an extreme emergency, calling on law enforcement would be a better choice than a complete stranger who happens to be willing and available.
Ignore parent’s rules – If the parents have set rules for their children, while they are in the home, such as rules about behavior or what can be consumed, a nanny does not have the freedom to ignore those rules, when she is outside of the home with the children.

The thought of any nanny exposing their young charges to any of these items in public can be a horrifying thought. Of course, thorough background checks and checking of previous references are the parent’s best security against hiring a nanny who would operate in such an unprofessional manner.

For much more information, link to www.nannypro.com

Three kinds of childen

2011-11-14T10:20:00.003-05:00

Recently, as an author in Author's Alley at the NJEA convention, I watched the children as they approached my neighbor's table that had a bowl of candy to entice visitors to view her book. Some teachers brought their children with them and this is what I found:

There's the "Snatch and run." Those are the children who thought we had the treats out for their benefit, as if it were Halloween all over again, according to one little visitor.
Then there were the kids who took a piece, and then were reprimanded by their parent to ask first before taking and then reminded the child to thank the bookseller. (I wonder how many times the parent said that, considering we were near the end of the row!)
Finally, you have the polite child who stands drooling in front of the candy. He looks squarely at the person behind the table, asks permission to have a piece of candy, and then thanks her. All this happened while Mom was talking to someone else. AH! The child, somewhere in his first twelve years, has internalized proprietry.

How does this happen that some children are so incognizant of other people's feelings while others consider the other person first? It all goes back to parental counseling and courtesy. If the parents are kind enough to ask a child for his or her belongings before taking them for whatever reason, that child learns that this is the way you're supposed to behave.

Bottom line: Behave as you want your children to behave to be a strong role model for maturity!
What kind of child do you have?

Happy parenting!

Airplane antics

2011-11-08T11:06:00.001-05:00

One of my favorite classroom activities to get children moving is called "Airplane Antics." This activity involves a minimum of effort by the teacher, but a maximum of effort by the students. Here's how it works:

Take enough pieces of lined or unlined paper for each student in the room. Provide a different label for the top of each page. (See the examples below.)
Tell the students to answer or respond to the key word or words at the top of the page.
They fold the paper into an airplane.
On your cue, they sail the plane across the room.
Another child picks up the airplane, unfolds it, then provides a new comment or answer.
Repeat the process 3-6 times depending on the available time and interest level of your students.
Collect the papers and review the answers.

How easy is that!

Here are some examples of possible labels for the top of the paper. The examples provide only one label of many that you would put at the top for each session. For example, in the math activity, you would have twenty different numberes for the twenty students in the class. For the animals list, you might also include wild animals, pets, poisonous animals, etc.)

15 (students provide different equations for the number at the top of the page)
Green (students write or draw something that is green)
Farm animals (students write or draw a different farm animal)
Vegetables (students write or draw different veggies)

See how that goes? What categories can you develop for this activity? For more ideas, see my book, The Kinetic Classroom: Activities that Move Students to Learn.

Happy teaching!

The Holistic Child

2011-11-04T08:25:00.001-04:00

Holistic education: a system postulating that the human mind must be studied as a unit rather than as a sum of its individual parts.

People are complex. Children are also complex. Why then, do we treat children within the framework of their current situation? In school, they are learners. In sports, they are competitors. With their friends, they are supporters. At home, they are, well, all of the above!

Isn't it time that teachers and parents develop the whole child, not simply one of many parts? The teacher who sees a child crying in the middle of a test may send her to the nurse or guidance office for assistance...or she may allow her to finish the test then ask to speak with her after class. The child who is constantly disappointed with less than an A+ might certainly be the stellar student, but might he also be frightened of the consequences of a B at home? Or the child who cuts gym class to help her friend with a problem ... does she deserve a detention or a star for her compassion? See what I mean? Kids are complex and need a holistic approach to their education.

What are you doing to promote holistic education in your classroom? While no specific strategy is the solution to any given challenge, Antheil Elementary in Ewing, NJ has implemented initiatives to improve the overall development of their students. Some of these same initiatives may be the answer you’ve been looking for in your school:

Closing Achievement Gaps: Through strategy distribution within the kindergarten grade level, students with lower reading levels were able to progress to learn at the same level as their peers at higher reading levels. Antheil brought in early literacy work and reading recovery programs and included the same alphabet in each classroom of the same grade level to provide consistency in classroom instruction.

Parent Involvement: Antheil Elementary brings in all 1st-grade parents in January and teaches them how teachers work with the children and demonstrate with the children how the teachers use their specific seven strategies for reading. This allows parents to go home and help their children with what the children are already learning in school, and through the same method.

Collaboration: Teachers at Antheil participate in common planning periods within every grade level every day.

Measure Twice, Cut Once: Teachers and school leaders are constantly monitoring and assessing the learning levels of children on a whole, not just through testing, making sure they’re on track.

Constructing a Community: The school worked to develop a relationship with the community to promote involvement with adult community members beyond parent participation.

WOW! What forward-thinking concepts!

Happy Teaching!

Listen to your children...

2011-11-02T09:32:00.000-04:00

I copy this quote from a friend with three wonderful children: Listen to your children. Allow them to believe that they have the right to a voice, and that their ‘voice’ is valued. By listening to the thoughts, ideas and contributions of children we can help them to achieve their full potential by valuing their participation in matters that affect their lives. I couldn't have said it better myself!

Too often we spend our lives telling our children how to lead theirs: Make your bed, eat your breakfast, do your homework, get your cleats on, finish your dinner, go to bed, etc. etc. etc. However, more important than being a dictator parent like that is being the Father Confessor parent by listening, truly listening to their problems, complaints, and yes, their sins. When you take the time to listen with the heart of a parent and the ear of a friend, you'll find that your children have the amazing ability to solve their own problems when given half a chance to do so!

Here are some tips for actively listening to your children:
1. Stop what you're doing when you child approaches you.
2. Look directly at your child. If you're standing, sit together so you're on nearly the same level.
3. Be quiet while your child explains the problem or simply tells about his or her day.
4. Use simple responses like, "Go on," "What else happened" or "Tell me more" that show your interest in the topic.
5. Listen for and reiterate the feelings you hear: "I sense your frustration with math" or "You must be really disappointed that you lost that critical game."
6. Ask, don't tell, your child what you can do to help.
7. Never ever tell your child that his thoughts, feelings, or opinions are wrong or invalid by saying, "You don't mean that." If she didn't mean it, she wouldn't have said it!

When you start this process when your children are little, you'll be glad you did when they become teenagers. Those teenagers will tend to share more than you really want to know, but that information becomes very helpful in guiding them into responsible adulthood. I know! I've been there! Any kids are now awesome adults!

Happy Parenting!

What to do with all that Halloween candy!

2011-11-01T07:36:00.001-04:00

Unless you live in an area that got snow this Halloween (!!), you're probably overstocked with chocolate and other candy that rots teeth and destroys children's temperaments. Here are some ideas for recycling the sweet stuff so you don't overdo it in November:

Freeze it. Dole out one or two pieces a day, when the child earns a treat.
Crunch it. Bits of candy that has been ground in a food processor make great additions to cookies and cakes during the holiday season.
Donate it. Some local communities collect candy to distribute to the troops overseas.
Sell it. Some dentists participate in Operation Gratitude, which also sends candy to the troops, but the dentists add a twist - they pay the kids a minimal amount for their candy per pound.
Save it. Freeze and save it for decorating this year's Gingerbread House or in the pockets of an Advent Calendar.

Or better yet... throw out a piece of candy every once in a while so your kids won't notice the change and will eventually have less to ingest. Don't feel badly about discarding perfectly good candy. (You don''t feel badly about tossing out fat from the George Foreman grill do you?) Caution ... some kids know exactly what's in their goody bag! In that case, simply ask what piece you can have every once in a while, then instead of eating it, discard it furtively ;-)

Above all, remember that the candy belongs to your children. Don't toss, donate, freeze, sell, or save it without discussing your plan with your children first.

Happy Parenting!

Literature for Special Problems

2011-10-28T08:12:00.001-04:00

Call me crazy, but I truly enjoyed teaching 7th grade language arts because I could help my students pull their creativity from deep within and develop it on paper. I recently stumbled across a wonderful website filled with tips for language arts teachers of all grades: http://www.carolhurst.com/index.html. There, teachers will find that any problem can be tackled with a book. Got bullies? Go to http://www.carolhurst.com/subjects/bullies.html and pick one of the many books on that topic for your grade level. Then, ask your little learners to develop a similar story. What about geology? Carol Hurst recommends Everybody Needs a Rock (An Aladdin Book) because not only does it teach about Mohs' Scale of Hardness, the author also shows young readers about taking your time to make a decision. Wow!

So, whether you teach fiction or nonfiction, second graders or seventh graders, the information you find at this website will provide the important link between literacy and curriculum. Here's a quick link to the Table of Contents: http://www.carolhurst.com/toc.html.

Happy teaching!

Is a child's self esteem misunderstood?

2011-10-27T07:26:00.000-04:00

Has your child's teacher told you that she has low self esteem? What exactly does that mean? It's possible that she is simply too shy to volunteer answers during a group discussion. It's also possible that she feels dissatisfied with everything she does. Which is the worse scenario? Obviously the second.

I've seen well-meaning parents attempt to make perfect children by requiring them to re-do incorrect homework assignments. When that happens, a child sees that his work is not good enough to hand in to the teacher; nor is it good enough to satisfy a parent. His self esteem goes down a few notches. Yes, we want our children to succeed, but not at the expense of their basic self-worth. How then can parents get their children to do better in school while building on their self-esteem? Simple - by focusing on what they did right, rather than what they did wrong. Let's go back to the homework issue. If you look at a math assignment and see four wrong answers but six right answers, focus first on what the child did right. Then, when he sees that he has the capability for getting the right answer, show him that four answers could be improved. (Don't say they are wrong, simply say they can be improved). Now here's the hard part, parents ... walk away! Let your child figure out all by himself what he needs to do. If he decides to hand in the paper with the wrong answers, then accept that maybe he was tired that night and simply couldn't think about math anymore. It happens! Harping on him will chip away at that self-esteem problem the teacher mentioned. Repeat the process the next night by again observing what he did right. Eventually, your child will learn that he can get the rest of the answers correct if he builds on what he knows.

So, how then is self esteem misunderstood? Because many parents and some teachers feel that every child needs a reward for good behavior. Does anyone give you a reward to doing the dinner dishes, getting the kids ready for bed, and then putting a load of laundry in the washing machine before you collapse in front of the TV? No? I didn't think so. You've formed your own intrinsic reward system because you know if you didn't do those things, your home would fall apart. A child needs that same intrinsic motivation, and that's why it's so important to walk away after you tell your child that some of his math problems need to be reconsidered. Certainly, you can welcome his smiling face when he fixes them, but then comment, "I'm sure your teacher will be just as pleased as you are with your progress." Ah! You found the magic words - just as pleased as you are (intrinsic motivation) - not how pleased you are (extrinsic motivation).

A recent study has shown that low self esteem causes increased materialism and raising self esteem decreases materialism. So, by raising your child's self esteem through intrinsic motivation, you'll be saving yourself some money. And that's wonderful motivation for any parent!

Happy parenting!

Parents vs. Teachers

2011-10-25T07:23:00.001-04:00

Teaching is one of the few professions where the "clients" think they know more than the professionals. A parent wouldn't take her child to the dentist and say, "She has a chipped tooth. I think you should extract it because it's ugly." She wouldn't take her child to the hairdresser and say, "Now take about two inches from the back and an inch from the front and then layer it the rest of the way so it looks like this picture." (Although I have seen some parents get almost as demanding at the salon!) My point is, why do parents think that they know what's best for their child's education and criticize a teacher's methods?

What's even worse is when the parent question's the teacher's comments. A teacher explains to a parent that his son hit another child in the schoolyard. The parent turns to his son and asks, "Did you do that?" to which the son naturally denies the accusation, leaving the parent glaring at the teacher. HUH? You believed a ten-year-old over a professional educator?

Or how about the parent who wants to know what the teacher "did" to her child to make him behave so poorly in class? Again I say, "HUH?" Maybe the teacher should set aside his or her professionalism and ask the parent what she did to model such disrespectful behavior at home.

Finally, there's the parent who doesn't believe that the teacher taught the material well enough, causing her child to fail the test. Could it be that her little angel simply wasn't paying enough attention to the teacher's instruction? Or was too busy with two sports and piano lessons to have time to complete the homework?

The bottom line with today's rant is that teachers don't get the respect they deserve for all the time and effort they put into planning, implementing, and grading their students' work. Parents should realize that the teacher has the degree which has been sanctioned by their state to teach methods they learned in college. Why is that so difficult to comprehend? I don't tell my plumber how to fix my leaky pipe. I don't tell my carpenter how to fix my sagging door. And when my children were in school, I worked with the teachers to understand how my children would be better prepared for their daily instruction. Isn't it time parents learn that teachers are actually on their team not playing against them? By working together, parents and teachers will cooperatively reach the same goal - the best possible education for the children.

Happy parenting and happy teaching!

Hidden sources of BPA

2011-10-24T07:00:00.002-04:00

Recent research indicates that the presence of BPA in food items can cause hyperactivity and other learning problems, particularly with girls. Bisphenol A (BPA) is also linked to a higher incidence of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and liver enzyme abnormalities in humans. Most parents today know enought to use baby bottles and sippy cups that are BPA free, but what about the hidden sources of this additive? Here are a few:

Thermally printed paper like receipts and movie tickets. Keep these away from your kids if they also use those hands to dip into a box of popcorn.
Dental Sealant. The sealants dentists use to protect teeth from cavities break down into BPA when in contact with saliva. Researchers at Mount Sinai Hospital also advise pregnant women to avoid dental sealants.
Pizza boxes. Yep, they are recycled, sometimes from that thermally printed paper!
Soda cans. The plastic lining contains traces of BPA. Now both the can and the contents should be avoided.
Wine (those fermented in vats lined with plastic.) I know you won't give your children wine to drink, but you may use it in cooking.

To avoid or limit your own exposure, avoid plastic containers that have the number 7 printed on the bottom. Never microwave your food in any type of plastic container and never wash these plastics in the dishwasher with detergents that are harsh with very hot water. This combination of hot water and detergent can cause BPA to be deposited on your other dishes and even glassware.

As part of their study, the Breast Cancer Fund and Silent Spring Institute enrolled five families, each consisting of two parents and two children, who had regularly consumed prepackaged, processed foods and drinks in cans, frozen dinners, bottled water and foods designed to be microwaved in their own containers. Then, for three days, these families were presented with fresh, organic food cooked by the research team and stored only in glass or stainless steel containers. To measure the direct and immediate impact of the change, researchers collected urine samples from all participants before, during and after the diet.

After just three days, everyone’s BPA level fell, with an average drop of two-thirds. BPA has a half-life of six hours in your body, notes Connie Engel, PhD, program coordinator at The Breast Cancer Fund. This means that six hours following exposure, half of what you’ve taken in is eliminated. When the families resumed their normal diets, their BPA levels returned to pre-intervention levels by the next urine sample. These findings were published in March in the online journal Environmental Health Perspectives.

So, the bottom line is: Natural is better and always question the quality of the plastics you use when feeding your family.

Happy Parenting!

No more bumpers

2011-10-21T15:09:00.002-04:00

The truth is out ... the evil crib bumper has hit the poverbial dust bunny. Apparently, they are hazardous to infants who can't get their face away from the fluffy sides of their environment. I accept that. But when the child gets older and can move his head with much dexterity, wouldn't keeping a bumper in the crib eliminate some bumps and bruises from knocking into the side of the crib? Maybe... maybe not. All I know is that my kids survived the wrath of the crib bumper. They also survived lying on their tummies in that crib. And the crib they survived as infants is probably not safe for my grandchildren! I'm sure there are a lot of other innovations in the past thirty years that have improved the plight of the young. HOWEVER, nothing surpasses the watchful eye of a mindful parent who cares enough to know where her child is and what she is doing at all times.

Happy parenting!

When your friend needs help

2011-10-20T07:08:00.000-04:00

We've all been there. We're sick, had an operation, had a baby, or are simply overwhelmed with life's demands. Then some unsuspecting family member asks, "What's for dinner?" and you lose all patience. When my daughter had her baby last month, a very kind relative started a meal delivery system after I left. Called Take Them a Meal, the website offers a sign-up system for meals for as long as the help is needed. Chelle got delicious home-cooked casseroles for two weeks, which fed her and her family for dinners and leftovers for lunches. The sign-up system prevented her having baked ziti every night, too! Some neighbors were disappointed that they couldn't sign up becuase all the spaces were filled for dinners, so they got together a Sunday brunch basket. What wonderful people! And since she delivered by C-section, my daughter was unable to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk, so when she went to the grocery store, she only bought the necessary lighter items - bread, eggs, cheese, diapers, etc. So not only did the system provide wonderful meals, it lightened her burden for shopping.

The website also has a section for recipes and a section for ordering meals if you live far away from the friend or family member in need. In addition, if you belong to a group that holds potluck dinners, they have a companion site to sign up for a church supper as well.

What a boon for the person who needs help because she or he knows that she'll easily be able to reciprocate or "pay it forward" somehow.

Happy parenting!

You and Your Children's Happiness

2011-10-18T07:47:00.001-04:00

Do you lead a happy life, generally speaking? Then chances are your children will also lead a happy life.

A group of scientists from four major universities examined over 1,000 pairs of twins from a huge study on the health of American adolescents. In “Genes, Economics and Happiness," they concluded that about a third of the variation in people’s happiness is genetic. And although their conclusions were indisputable, they were unable to isolate the happy gene. Why? Because they used only American subjects in their test, which skewed an ethnic genetic bias. Asians are typically less happy than their North American counterparts. Africans span the gamut of happiness, depending on the origins of their tribes. Intersting stuff, this genetics!

External circumstances are just as important to determining the happiness of your children. It's common knowledge that people who are satisfied with their careers are generally happier with their lives, which caries over to their family life. Extroverts are generally happier than introverts. And people who are very young and very old are generally happier than those in the middle-aged group who seem overwhelmed by life's many commitments. Many factors come together to determine the happiness of your children. One-third, the genetic factor, is beyond your control. The other two-thirds will involve hard work and a positive outlook on life. But when you think of it, hard work and a positive outlook generally lead to a happy life. Hmmm...

And certainly, physical disabilities will also play a role in a child's happiness. If a parent is seriously injured in an accident or gets a debilitating disease, that child's life will be less happy than a child with an able and capable parent. Hovever, I've also noticed that people who are more positive and happy generally have a lower incidence of accidents and disease. Another hmmm....

So the bottom line with this post? When you're chosing a life-long partner, find one who likely carries a happiness gene for the health and welfare of your family! And then work hard to maintain a positive outlook for a happy existence.

Happy parenting!

Stick a Star on Stellar Parents!

2011-10-17T08:34:00.002-04:00

I was in the grocery store the other day and observed stellar parenting in action. I wish I could have placed a star on that mother's cart as an indication of her superior ability to show creative parenting. Here's what happened: They were in the cleaning materials aisle. At the far end stood one of those ubiquitous cheap toy displays right at the little girl's level. She made a selection that involved pressing buttons to make noises and showed it to her mother. "Can I get this," she asked. "Not today, honey, put it back," Mom answered, trying the easy route first. The little girl naturally responded, "But mom..." Now here's where the story diverges from the usual, "I said put it back, now do as I say" scenario. Mom saw that her daughter wanted to play with the cheap toy, so she said, "Tell you what. You can play with it when we're in this aisle, but when I turn the corner, you must put it back." WOW! The little girl got to play with the cheap toy for a few minutes, and Mom got some peace in the dangerous materials aisle. When she got to the end of the aisle, Mom reminded her daughter, "Ok, I''m ready to go to the next aisle. What do you have to do now?" WOW! Mom didn't even have to tell her daughter what to do, she simply reminded her of her obligation, letting the little girl make up her own mind. So what did the little girl do? She skipped, yes skipped, back down the aisle, put the cheap toy back exactly where it belonged, then skipped back to Mom. However, in typical little girl fashion, she just had to add as they rounded the corner, "Do you think Santa will bring that to me?" And of course, Mom responded the way all moms would have handled that question with a "We'll see!"

That just goes to show you that with a little patience and creativity, you can avert many meltdowns in the grocery store!

Happy Parenting!

Early Literacy

2011-10-14T12:42:00.000-04:00

According to Dr. Barry Zuckerman, founder of Reach Out and Read, "Research has shown that the first five years of life are critical to a child's language development. Reading to a young child, even before a baby can hold a book, will help the child develop a love of books because she will associate them with being on her mother's lap and hearing her mother's voice."

Wow - that sounds like classical conditioning to me. How can a kid lose if he or she associates reading with early nurturing? What a simple, yet important concept for new parents to understand!

Reach Out and Read brings books to children in doctor's offices who give them age-appropriate reading material. It will expand to 100 U.S. bases by 2013, in support of Joining Forces, a White House initiative to honor and support America's service members and their families. What better place to begin helping children than with those who must accept a parent's deployment. Those parents can easily record a story for a child and then have the home parent play the recording while the child looks at the book.

Watch this video to see the 2011 information:

Happy Reading and Happy Parenting!

Children and their sports

2011-10-13T11:02:00.000-04:00

Today, I have a guest blogger, Audrey Brown from KidProof who has good insight into the world of children and their sports:

Football, softball, hockey, volleyball, soccer. Organized sports are a great way for kids to get in shape, build their skills, meet new friends and develop a life-long love of the game.
And more kids are playing than ever before. The American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons estimates that about half of all boys and a quarter of girls ages 8 to 16 participate in some sort of sports program during the year. Millions more hit the field for physical education classes, church and community tournaments or city recreation programs.

But pushed too far too fast by overzealous grown-ups, these young athletes have more risk of injury than we do. Here’s why: because their bodies are still growing, sometimes at uneven rates, kids’ bones, tendons, muscles and ligaments might not yet be in proper alignment – which leaves them prone to injury. What’s more, they’re still developing their coordination, endurance and strength, which means they’re more likely to get hit by a ball or another player, to fall or twist an ankle, or to overexert themselves.

In younger players, match-ups aren’t always equal. One 10-year-old boy who’s 75 pounds may have to face off against an opponent who weighs 40 pounds more. And when athletes reach high school age, they’re faster, stronger, heavier, and capable of slamming their rivals to the ground.

To prevent injuries, look for the right program – and the right coach. The league should require all kids to use proper equipment and safety gear, which may include helmets, protective eye wear, the right shoes, mouth guards, face masks, shin guards, athletic supporters and padding. Make sure the playing surface is appropriate and well maintained. Fields shouldn’t have any holes or grooves that might trip players. High-impact sports like basketball and running should be done on wooden courts and dirt tracks, not concrete. Practices and games should always be supervised by conscientious adults who, ideally, have been trained in the game rules, safety, first aid and CPR.
Next, look for a coach who encourages teamwork, confidence, cooperation and growth – over winning at all costs. Physically, he should always warm up the team before practice, teach your kid basic skills and defensive moves, and focus on building your kid’s overall muscle strength, flexibility, endurance and heart-and-lung fitness.
He should also know the basics of sports injuries and what to do when they occur. Sprains, strains, cuts, bruises are by far the most common, while bone fractures and spinal cord injuries are rare. A good coach will know how to spot early signs of trouble, like limping or flinching, and urge you to seek treatment from your family doctor or, when necessary, the emergency room.

A good coach will also know when to give your athlete a break. Repetitive actions like pitching or swimming stress young bones and muscles and can lead to overuse injuries. This can include stress fractures, sore and swollen knees, elbow pain in pitchers, sore shoulders in swimmers, shin splints from running on a hard surface, and spondylolysis from repetitive flexing and twisting in soccer, football, weight lifting, gymnastics, wrestling and diving.

To prevent these stress injuries, make sure your child always warms up, keep an eye on the duration and intensity of his practices, make sure he has the right equipment and technique, schedule breaks in his year-round schedule and don’t let him back on the field until a prior injury has completely healed.

Most important, teach your player to acknowledge pain, listen to his body and know when to stop – even if his team mates or coach are egging him on. Trying to push past the pain might land him on the bench for the rest of the season.

Happy Parenting!

Long-distance parental relationship

2011-10-12T08:18:00.000-04:00

Even more important than maintaining strong, close relationships between parents who live together most of the time, is the relationship between parents where one travels frequently. The truck driver, salesperson, or military spouse find themselves on the road more than they are at home. This absence can only erode an ordinarily strong relationship, creating pitholes of doubt and deception. According to Peggy Schwartz, a sex and relationships expert, there are many ways to combat the woes of lovers living apart. Some suggestions are based on hers and some are mine...

Use Skype. When it's dinner time, skype in the missing parent so he or she can have dinner with the family. We did that when my neice had a baby shower and my daughter who is married to an army colonel, lived in Germany. She wanted to participate in the shower for her cousin, she we skyped her in. The transmisssion glitched a few times, but Theresa would show the gifts she received to my daughter by putting them near the computer camera lens. What fun!
Videotape. Similarly, if your children are in a school play or concert, videotape their part and send it to the other parent, who can comment intelligently on the performance.
Write. Yes, write - letters, emails, texts. You can store these in digital memory and can refresh your true memory of a loved one's words.
Watch the same shows. If you all really enjoy watching a certain sports team or a TV show in the evenings, make sure everyone watches so the next time you talk on the phone or skype, you can discuss a common interest.
Schedule time together when the family reunites. It is SO important to have something to look forward to when you're on the road. The humdrum work activities become very burdonsome unless the missing parent has a special event or family activity to look forward to upon return.

Keep in mind that the missing parent is hurting just as much as the family members who are left behind at home to cope with everyday events without that person. Do all that you can to work together despite the temporary absence.

Toward Better Parental Relationships

2011-10-10T09:27:00.000-04:00

Much of my focus for this blog has been on interactions between adults and children. However, just as important are the interactions between the adults who care for those children. This blog focuses on the married parents who may need a little help staying married so their children don't have to deal with the problems associated with separation and divorce.

Ask yourself if you'd rather be right or would you rather be happy? The key here is acceptance. If your spouse doesn't load the dishwasher the way you would, accept that he or she actually does load the dishwasher! If your spouse doesn't take the trash out until five minutes before the truck arrives, which annoys you that he waited so long, accept that he actually remembered in time!
Communicate, communicate, communicate. Don't simply say, "The kids need to be picked up at 5:00 from soccer practice." That's not communication. Instead, ask, "What's one thing I can do to make your life easier?" Wow! What bomb just dropped in that household? The bomb may drop but the silence may be deafening on the other end! Remembe to add one thing to the question so you don't get a laundry list of improvements.
Romance is important. That doesn't mean you need wine and flowers every week (which may become overwhelming and redundant!). It means the you truly care about the other person and see when he or she needs a boost. In other words, be alert to your spouse's needs and respond accordingly with a simple hug, kiss, words of appreciation, or those flowers on a non-occasion.
Never assume that you know what the other person is thinking. His or her body language may be misleading. Ask what's bothering your partner. Only then will you be able to respond to the problem. Remember, men, if you ask and your wife says, "Nothing," it usually means "Everything!" Probe deeper. Just sayin'!
Put family first. Many families totally ignore this rule as they go about their everyday lives. The parents work, which builds stress into any family. The kids have school, activities, and homework. But if you all work to put the family first, you will all see ways to help each other through the good times and the bad. One of my previous blogs recommended that you have a family dinner at least once a week. What other ways can you consider that will bring your family together?

Happy Parenting!

Cold and flu prevention

2011-10-07T07:30:00.000-04:00

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, school-aged kids are some of the best transmitters for cold and flu germs. And once they catch a virus, kids can stay contagious for three to eight days, quickly spreading their illness throughout your family. They are such generous creatures! Here are some tips to help prevent their generosity:

Get a flu shot! It's easy, safe, and relatively inexpensive.
Teach children how to properly wash their hands. Most rinse with water and forget the antibacterial soap. This results in their placement of germs on the towel.
Speaking of towels, change them frequently.
Remind kids to avoid touching their face, which is the primary way germs go from their hands to their systems. Nail biters are at particular risk for picking up germs.
Drink plenty of liquids to flush the germs from their systems.
Eat yogurt - the beneficial bacteria cuts susceptibility to colds by 25%.
Take multivitamins with C and Echinacea.
Encourage physical exercise, which amps up a child's ability to fight disease.

With these eight steps, your children will be less likely to catch colds and flu from other children and family members. However, if they do get sick, remember to keep them separated from the rest of the family, give them plenty of fluids, and frequently wipe down surfaces they touch with an antibacterial cleanser.

Happy, Healthy Parenting!

On Finnish Schools

2011-10-06T07:11:00.002-04:00

For public school teachers in NJ, I encourage you to read the article entitled "Why are Finland's Schools Successful?" in the October 2011 NJEA Review. (Now that I'm retired, I have time for such a luxury as reading a magazine!) For my readers who are outside the state of NJ or too busy to read the article, here is a synopsis:

Schools in Finland focus on the student rather than the test scores. What a novel approach to education!

They have no mandated standardized tests, except for one exit exam at the end of senior year in high school. (They don't have to teach to the test??)
There are no rankings, competitions, or comparisons between students. (Your child isn't 117 out of 285 students in her class??)
The people in government who fund the schools are educators. (What - politicians don't control the schools??)
Every school draws from the same pool of university-trained educators. (Students in small villages and larger cities have the same advantage!)

According to the Finnish Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development, "Equality is the most important word in Finnish education." All political parties agree on the direction of the children's education. And yes, Finland does have teacher's unions, but they all agree that children come first before funding, testing, and any other distraction to education.

Ninety-three percent of Finnish children graduate form high school. Compare that with the seventy-five percent of American children. Sixty-six percent go on to higher education, the highest rate in the European Union. Now here's the kicker: Finland spends thirty percent less per student than in the United States.

What does this all tell us? That teachers need to focus on the student, rather than the test scores. Because when you focus on the well-being of the student, you will find that the test scores of those students will also increase. Why? Because when the student feels wanted and needed by the teachers, they will strive to succeed.

So, the next time you see a student failing, take the time to really get to know that student rather than giving him more work to do to pull up his grade. Find out what he likes and dislikes; what life is like at home. When you do that, you'll reach the child on a personal level, which in turn will cause that student to self-motivate, which is a life skill many adults failed to learn when they were in school.

Happy Teachingt!!

More on bullies

2011-10-05T06:52:00.000-04:00

I observed that in one week, I got 42 hits on my previous blog posting about how to help children handle bullies. That's a staggering number of hits compared to the numbers for other postings. When I shared this on my Facebook page, I got the following very intuitive responses:

From Vicki, a middle school special ed teacher: I think it's because parents refuse to believe their children can do wrong; they question the schools and by telling their kids not to listen to their teachers empower their kids to push boundaries. Add to that kids who are showered with expensive toys by preoccupied parents too busy with everything BUT parenting and you have attention- seeking, lonely and frustrated bullies.

And from my daughter Val, a 3rd grade teacher: I have found that kids actually need lessons on how to socialize and conversate correctly. With all this technology, parents and kids aren't socializing let alone kids with other kids. How do they know how to be polite/not bully/respect others when they aren't told or shown otherwise?!?! Hmmmm

So, from these two teachers who are still in the "trenches," I conclude with them that parents are the children's primary role models. I was fortunate that my daughters were neither bullies nor bullied to the best of my knowledge. That's because I taught them to be proactive about their relationship with other people, both young and old. I showed them that each person, no matter how much that person annoyed them, deserved their respect.

The writer in me decided to find resources to help parents and teachers understand the importance of teaching their children to be empathetic and accepting of others' differences. I looked for books that showed parents/teachers how to form an anti-bullying strategy rather than how to help kids cope with bullies, which may be the bigger picture. Here's what I found:

No Kidding About Bullying: 125 Ready-to-Use Activities to Help Kids Manage Anger, Resolve Conflicts, Build Empathy, and Get Along (Bully Free Classroom)

Bullying Prevention and Intervention: Realistic Strategies for Schools (The Guilford Practical Intervention in Schools Series)

The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to HighSchool--How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle (Updated Edition)

Happy Teaching and Happy Parenting!

Things you can do with chalkboard paint

2011-10-04T07:40:00.000-04:00

I wish I had this stuff when my girls were little! Chalkboard paint has a bazillion uses. Here are some of the more useful and interesting:

Paint a wall in your child's playroom and give her a place for creative expression. This will also teach her to clean her own space as it will become rather dusty if she doesn't! I don't recommend this for a bedroom for that reason.
Paint a space on reusable water bottles to chalk on the user's name.
Paint the top of a wooden cigar box (available at stores that sell cigars!)
Paint a poster frame and mount in the kitchen for a menu board or shopping list
Paint a portion of a flowerpot and label the contents. This is particularly helpful for herbs.
Paint the edge of storage bins for easy labeling and changing of those labels.
Paint the side of an item that requires directions for use.
Paint old coasters so you can personalize them each time.
Paint the side of spice jars for easy labeling.
Paint a sign in a guest room to personalize a message for visitors.
Paint a sign for the front of your house to personalize seasonal messages.

For a minimal investment of time and money, chalkboard paint allows you to personalize your home and belongings, decorate with motivational, funny, or everyday words, and change your mind and decor daily! And THAT is simply good Feng Shui!

Happy Parenting!

Fundraiser for Home and School

2011-10-03T09:02:00.001-04:00

Recently, I found a catalog (www.vanengelen.com) of bulbs that recommended nonprofits use them as a fundraiser. My interest piqued, I investigated further. Here's what I found:

For $149.50, you can get 250 Arkle daffodil bulbs. (There are many from which to choose, but this seems to be a good price.) You print your own flyer advertising the fundraiser. For example, you could say that your patrons can buy a dozen daffodil bulbs for $10.00. That gives you a profit of about $2.80 per dozen purchased or $56 per order of 250 bulbs. You'll likely get more than 20 people to support your fundraiser, so the profits will go up as you increase the size of your order.

Now here's the unique part of this fundraiser... Tell your patrons that for every dozen bulbs they buy, they'll really get only eleven. One bulb from each order will be planted around the school to beautify it in the spring. What a great idea!

If you work quickly and efficiently, you'll be able to assemble this profitable fundraiser in time for the recommended early November planting. However, if you think it may be too late to try this now for a fall fundraiser, think about it for next fall.

For more ideas on fund raising, see my book Helping Kids Help: Organizing Successful Charitable Projects.

Happy teaching and Happy parenting!

International Walk to School Day - October 5, 2011

2011-09-16T09:24:00.000-04:00

"When I was your age, I walked five miles to school," ...or so said Grandpa or Great Grandpa when describing his school experience in the 1930s. Today's children have it easy. The bus picks them up outside of their house or at most, they must walk a block or two to the bus stop. If a district determines that children who live within a certain radius of the school don't need bussed transportation, some parents ignore that and drive their kids to school, especially on rainy or frigid mornings. (But I can't blame them for that logic!) No wonder our kids are overweight!

However, the school bus concept is much safer. With less time on the road for a rogue driver to bounce onto the pavement or a wild animal to chase a child through the field, children have fewer opportunities to get into serious trouble before school begins and on their way home.

So, why organize a Walk to School Day? To get the kids out in the fresh air, using their muscles for more than Wii games.

How would you implement that observance? Some people are organizing a walking school bus where the kids line up, accompanied by parents, and walk as a group to school. What a great idea - within reason. Naturally if you live ten miles from school, even Grandpa wouldn't approve of walking that far. However, if you are close enough to participate, organize your neighbors and have fun walking with your children during the crisp autumn weather. Listen for the return of the winter birds. Look for the leaves changing color and explain why that happens. Talk about safety on the sidewalk. Turn the walking school bus ino a fun learning experience.

That's why I posted this early enough so you can begin planning now. According to the folks at the Kidproof Safety blog, here’s how it works: Start small and invite your kids and a few neighborhood kids to walk to school together. (Explain to parents that it’s like a carpool without the car.) Try walking once or twice a week to start. Figure out a safe route that avoids busy streets, intersections, loose dogs and shifty areas. Devise a schedule for picking up your charges, building in enough time to allow for slower walkers or discoveries (a bird’s nest!) along the way.

Before taking your first step, have a talk with the kids about safety. Teach the kids to walk (not run!) on the sidewalk, to watch for drivers pulling out of driveways, and to obey all traffic signs and signals. The kids should also watch for cars at all times, looking left, right, backwards and forwards before crossing busy intersections.

Once your “bus” is a success, consider inviting other neighborhood families to join in, or share the idea with school leaders. Ideally, you should have one adult walking with every six school-age kids, or one adult for every three preschoolers. Ask the parents to take turns on “bus” duty, and print up a route and schedule for all participants.

By taking to the streets, you’ll be boosting your kids’ health, cutting traffic, helping the environment by reducing automobile emissions, and creating a sense of community.

Happy parenting!

"Green" school food

2011-09-15T10:58:00.000-04:00

Children need to be more friendly - environmentally friendly, that is! Green food means more than eating broccoli and string beans. Here are some ideas you can implement at home for your own children and at school with your students:

As a PTO parent, volunteer to use reusable plates for the next party. Naturally, you will be in total charge of bringing them and picking them up to sanitize in your dishwasher. Another green party idea is to use cloth napkins that you wash with bleach and store with the plates for the next party. I know this sounds like a lot of work, but it will save much space in the local landfill!
If you send your child with water for lunch, use a green reusable bottle. Make sure it is BPA free like this Water Bottle. During warm weather, fill it the night before and freeze it for a frosty drink at lunch the next day.
The rest of the lunch can be green also: Use reusable containers for sandwiches and snacks. Avoid using packaged items that have plastic trash associated with them. My favorite is the Fit & Fresh Fruit and Veggie Bowl. When I was working, I could take my veggies and dip with me!
Remember that the lunch bag itself can be green. Here are the directions to make a reusable canvas bag at the top of my recipes page: http://reneeheiss.com/Recipes.html. If you can't sew, then consider buying a reusable lunch bag: Equinox Organic Cotton Lunch Bag. The neat thing about both of these options is that your children can personalize them with fabric or permanent markers :-)

By the way, this product has the tote, bottle, and containers: New Wave Enviro Products Lunchopolis Lunch Box. It gets mixed reviews, so I guess it depends on how hard your kids treat their lunch box!

Happy green parenting and green teaching!

How to avoid being "that" kind of parent

2011-09-14T06:45:00.000-04:00

As a parent, I always wanted the best for my children. That meant hoping they'd get the "best" teacher in the grade level during the lottery that occured in August. If they didn't get what everyone in the PTA considered the "best" teacher, I didn't reveal this information to my girls. We simply went with the flow. And you know what? Because of their personalities, we seldom had a problem.

However, there are those parents who tthink it is their patriotic duty to confront teachers when they feel that their little Elroy has been wronged somehow. The review sheet did not include something that appeared on the test or in the format in which it was tested? What? The teacher gave a pop quiz and he failed it? Aren't we teachers trying to instill adaptability with our curriculum? Yes, these scenraios really happened and I won't reveal the source, but some parents can get in their children's education so deeply that they lose sight of the fact that kids need to learn from their mistakes.

When I was teaching, I had a sign on my desk that read Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child. How true! As parents, our obligation is to help our children understand that life's roads has bumps. Sometimes those bumps take the form of mountains that need crossing during a blizzard. Other times, those bumps cave under pressure, making the road smooth again. If you have prepared your child to anticipate the pop quiz, prepare for unusually worded questions, and understand that life sometime isn't always fair, you'll raise strong, independent children. If however, you pave the way for them by arguing with their teachers, requesting a new teacher, or complaining about that teacher in their presence, you'll raise wimpy children who wait for someone else to solve their problems for them.

So, parents, I encourage you to think twice before confonting a teacher about her methods that she likely learned in college. He or she knows the best way to present her curriculum material to your child. It's your job to let your children know that you love them no matter what they do. And if that means hugging your child when she gets a 55 on a test that she studied for, then hug your child. She knows she disappointed you. Together, you can figure out how you can bring that grade up for the next test or do extra credit work to bring up the cumulative grade. However, will you be the one to ask for that extra credit? What do you think????

Happy parenting!

Spongebob - no; Creative learning activities - YES!

2011-09-13T10:36:00.000-04:00

I agree with everything this says, so I'm simply reposting it here on my blog! (From MyFox, Tampa Bay)

'SpongeBob SquarePants' bad for kids' concentration, US study says

Updated: Monday, 12 Sep 2011, 6:18 AM EDT
Published : Monday, 12 Sep 2011, 6:18 AM EDT

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. - Fast-paced, fantastical television shows such as "SpongeBob SquarePants" may harm children's ability to pay attention, solve problems and moderate behavior, according to a US study published Monday.

Researchers from the University of Virginia found that the learning ability of four-year-olds who watched nine minutes of "SpongeBob SquarePants" was severely compromised compared to four-year-olds who either watched the slower-paced TV show "Caillou" or spent time drawing.

The children in the study, whether they watched TV or drew, were tested immediately afterward to see how well they solved problems and followed rules, remembered what they were told and were able to delay gratification, according to the report published in journal Pediatrics. There was little difference in the way the children who watched "Caillou" or drew performed in the test.

"Parents should know that children who have just watched 'SpongeBob SquarePants,' or shows like it, might become compromised in their ability to learn and behave with self-control," according to psychology professor Angeline Lillard, who led the research. She added, "It is possible that the fast pacing, where characters are constantly in motion from one thing to the next, and extreme fantasy, where the characters do things that make no sense in the real world, may disrupt the child's ability to concentrate immediately afterward."

Lillard said another possible explanation was that children identified with unfocused and frenetic characters and then adopted their characteristics. She advised parents to consider the findings when making decisions about which television shows to allow their young children to watch -- if they watch TV at all. The study also recommended that parents use creative learning activities -- such as drawing, using building blocks and playing outdoors -- to help their children develop sound behaviors and learning skills.

Happy Parenting!

The Kinetic Classroom

2011-09-13T09:08:00.000-04:00

Allow me to blow my own horn here! I've worked for several years to get this book published so teachers around the world can move children around the classroom rather than sort them in neat little rows all day long. Research shows that children's brains need oxygen for stimulation. The only way to provide that oxygen is to move them around so their little blood vessels carry it to their brains.

The Kinetic Classroom provides the background research, implementation suggestions, and 34 activities that can be used by teachers of all levels, abilities, and curriculum topics. This book is also available in kindle edition if you want a more portable, digital copy :-)

Please comment below if you buy this book and let me know which activities worked best for you and explain how you used them.

Happy Teaching!

What is a digital native?

2011-09-12T09:44:00.000-04:00

Today's young generation is the first to have digital media at their fingertips. Their teachers and parents likely joined the digital age in elementary school. Their grandparents or great grandparents probably didn't even have a TV until elementary school. Children today are "digital natives" - they don't know a world without technological devices.

How does this make them different from previous generations? First, they find fact-gathering easier and probably more fun. My daughter assigned a research project to her students. She said they would love it because they would get to use the laptop cart. Kids loving research? Say what? In my 7th grade class oh-so-many years ago, the teacher would have extracted a chorus of groans and complaints from this announcement. Now, they eagerly look forward to the discovery process because a search engine has facilitated the process.

Neela Sakaria, Senior Vice President of Latitude explains that the research is “focused on giving children a real voice in the broader, often very adult, discussion of future technologies and real-world problem solving. We believe that kids are architects of the future – they’re creative, have an intuitive relationship with technology, and have proven that they think in extraordinarily sophisticated ways about how tech can enhance their learning, play, and interactions with the people and things around them.”

I believe that this new digital revolution has brought a generation of very creative children to the future. Encouraged by their teachers to develop technological solutions to non-technological problems, they see things differently than their predecessors. For example, when asked what google can do to facilitate research, this was one young problem-solver's reply:

What fun! What potential! I love the thought process that developed this concept and I can't wait for google to figure out how to implement it. I wish I could be around in 50 years to see what the future holds for these children and thier grandchildren!

Happy teaching!

Teen Suicide Prevention

2011-09-09T11:22:00.000-04:00

World Suicide Prevention Day is held on September 10th each year. The purpose of this day is to raise awareness around the globe that suicide can be prevented. Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death for youth between the ages of 10 and 14.

Why has the youth suicide rate gone so high in recent years? The American Academy of Pediatrics identified some reasons:

It's easier to get the tools for suicide (Boys often use firearms to kill themselves; girls usually use pills);
the pressures of modern life are greater;
competition for good grades and college admission is stiff; and
there's more violence in the newspapers and on television.

If your teen-ager has been depressed, you should look closely for signs that he or she might be thinking of suicide:

Has his personality changed dramatically?
Is he having trouble with a girlfriend (or, for girls, with a boyfriend)? Or is he having trouble getting along with other friends or with parents? Has he withdrawn from people he used to feel close to?
Is the quality of his schoolwork going down? Has he failed to live up to his own or someone else's standards (when it comes to school grades, for example)?
Does he always seem bored, and is he having trouble concentrating?
Is he acting like a rebel in an unexplained and severe way?
Is she pregnant and finding it hard to cope with this major life change?
Has he run away from home?
Is your teen-ager abusing drugs and/or alcohol?
Is she complaining of headaches, stomachaches, etc., that may or may not be real?
Have his eating or sleeping habits changed?
Has his or her appearance changed for the worse?
Is he giving away some of his most prized possessions?
Is he writing notes or poems about death?
Does he talk about suicide, even jokingly? Has he said things such as, "That's the last straw," "I can't take it anymore," or "Nobody cares about me?" (Threatening to kill oneself precedes four out of five suicidal deaths.)
Has he tried to commit suicide before?
Does he "cut" (slicing hidden areas of his body)?

If you suspect that your teen-ager might be thinking about suicide, do not remain silent. Suicide is preventable, but you must act quickly.

Ask your teen-ager about it. Don't be afraid to say the word "suicide." Getting the word out in the open may help your teen-ager think someone has heard his cries for help.
Reassure him that you love him. Remind him that no matter how awful his problems seem, they can be worked out, and you are willing to help.
Ask her to talk about her feelings. Listen carefully. Do not dismiss her problems or get angry at her.
Remove all lethal weapons from your home, including guns, pills, kitchen utensils, and ropes.
Seek professional help. Ask your teen-ager's pediatrician to guide you. A variety of outpatient and hospital-based treatment programs are available.

My friend, Al Borris, wrote an awesome novel about four teens on a suicide mission. It's called Crash into Me and examines the suicide process in depth without being preachy. He also includes a touch of humor and four very different personalities. The ending will convince most teens contemplating suicide that it's not the route to go.

I hope with this post that I have saved at least one family from the pain of suicide.

Observations at a Playground

2011-09-08T07:59:00.001-04:00

I was at the Evesham playground with my daughter and three-year-old granddaughter the other day. They went off to play. I watched the children's personalities there. Here's what I saw...

The future CEO organized all her friends to do exactly what she wanted them to do. When she went to one of the climbing areas, she held her arm out in silent body language that said, "Don't even try to be first. That's my place!" She trailed a younger sister around by the hand and exhibited every leadership trait that would make a future boss proud.

The artist played in the sandbox, sifting, building, rebuilding, and exploring the textures. He did not budge from his seat in the middle of the sand. Other children around him giggled, screamed, and ran, but he was oblivious to the mayhem around him. His powers of concentration on his efforts astounded me!

The athlete challenged his ability at every corner. He bounced on things that were probably not designed for bouncing. He balanced across a bridge that required much coordination. And he climbed every ladder at the playground. His energy seemed boundless.

The musician found the huge xylophone and would not give it a rest! She explored the sounds of each tube repeatedly, often searching for different combinations of sequences. I'm sure she would have loved to have had two sticks instead of the one that was attached at the xylophone to explore harmonic sounds, as well.

Then there was the daydreamer. She walked around the playground, watching the others play, staring up at the sky when a plane flew overhead, and kicking the wood chips around. She seemed content to watch and take in her environment rather than participate in the experience. Interesting behavior for a five-year-old.

Where was my three-year-old granddaughter though all this? Guardedly exploring the new playground. She required her mommy to be close by as she explored each new structure for the first time. I like that attitude - don't jump into something until you're absolutely sure it's safe. She wasn't fearful, but at three, she needed a backup in case her playground turned sinister for some reason ;-)

So, watch your children at play and see their future lives. Will they be the leader, the musician, the daydreamer, the artist, the athelete, or a cautious participant? Children's play can provide parents with much personality information if you take time to watch, rather than text or talk on the phone while they play (which I did see there at the playground!)

Happy parenting!

Lessons from a one-room schoolhouse

2011-09-07T13:28:00.000-04:00

When you think of the one-room schoolhouse, you probably envision Little House on the Prairie with Laura Ingalls interacting with children of all ages and personalities in the classroom. You might also envision the teacher being overworked, planning lessons for all different ages and abilities. This may not be too far from the norm even now.

In the U.S., 237 public schools had only one teacher, according to 2009 federal data, down from 463 in 1999. Most are located in remote areas. These often lack the amenities typically associated with high-quality schooling, such as computer labs, libraries, sports, art, music, nurses and learning resources teams.

However, these schools also have advantages unknown to students in traditional classrooms. Students often build close relationships with their teachers, providing another mature role-model. Pupils in mixed-age groups help each other learn. (Most teachers know that the easiest way to learn a subject is to teach it!) Field trips become easier and more diverse as the teacher takes his 30 students to investigate the workings of a restaurant kitchen or post office.

On the other hand, the teacher in the one-room school may need to develop thirty different IEPs for each of his students who don't have special needs, but do have different learning styles and levels. Many times parents volunteer their time to help the younger readers or those struggling with basic math concepts. Talented parents also volunteer for sports, music, and art specials while the primary teacher takes a much-needed break. Everyone helps each other learn - what an awesome concept!

But what about test scores? Enrollment at Cliff Island School, located off the coast of Maine, ranges from four to seven students in grades pre-K through 5. Its one teacher, Josh Holloway, has purchased science equipment by applying for grants. He uses videoconferencing to involve his students in book groups and programs at other schools.The test scores of students on the 85-resident island are "very competitive with the top end" of average scores in the area's 11 elementary schools, says Jim Morse, superintendent of Portland Public Schools. Parents are so involved that "it's almost a throwback to the time when schools were an extension of the family."

There are definitely advantages and disadvantages to having a small school in a small town, but personally, I love the close connection between family and education that this system affords to its residents.

Happy teaching and Happy parenting!

Another use for a clothes pin

2011-09-06T07:53:00.000-04:00

In a previous blog, I showed you how to use clothes pins to indicate movement upward on a sliding behavior scale. Today, I adapt a hint from my daughter, a 7th grade science teacher. She wanted to showcase student work on a rotating basis, so she hot glued clothes pins to bulletin board paper that was tacked onto the bulletin board. Then when she wants to showcase new work, all she has to do is unclip and add a new piece. So easy!

Rewarding students with classroom recognition is almost better than giving them a big A on the top of the paper or a smiley sticker. This recognition gives them positive attention in front of their peers, which multiplies the satisfaction level. With stickers, only the student and his family or close friends see the achievement. With the reward wall, everyone gets to see what good work looks like and who did it.

Happy teaching!

Are Comic Books Legitimate Reading ?

2011-09-02T06:58:00.000-04:00

8 Reasons to Let Your Kids Read Comics (excerpted from a post by Capstone Press)

1. Comics are fun to read. Why does reading have to be miserable? It doesn’t. Finding one genre fun means that your child will cross over it findin other genres fun.

2. Comics contain narrative stories with the same story elements and literary devices — characters, conflict, resolution, setting, symbolism, theme, point of view, and so forth. Teachers, consider using them to illustrate these concepts.

3. Comics provide built-in context clues. Because comics are visual, even if the text is difficult, the visuals give the reader support in comprehending the story.

4. Reading a comic is a different process of reading using a lot of inference. With a comic, readers must rely on the dialogue and the illustrations. The reader must infer what is not written out by a narrator, a complex reading strategy.

5. Readers need variety in their reading diet. 'nuf said!

6. We’re a visual culture and the visual sequence makes sense to kids. Most children are visual learners.

7. Reading comics may lead to drawing and writing comics. Linking reading and writing is important. Comic book creation is particularly enticing for kids who prefer drawing to writing normally but will make exceptions for dialogue bubbles.

8. The selection of graphic novels is bigger, better, and reaches a wider age-range than before. Every month more comic books and graphic novels enter the market for younger readers and provide more good choices from which to pick.

For more info, read http://cutemonster.com/2010/11/comic-book-documentary-film/, which includes a video on comic book literacy. And look at the article in the Washington Post: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A41684-2004Jun14.html.

Happy Reading!

Contests for Kids - Part III

2011-09-01T06:41:00.000-04:00

Here is the end of the list I compiled that shows you all the many ways you can motivate children to learn through contests. Remember to click on the title link for more information.

Nicholas Green Distinguished Student Awards
The Nicholas Green Distinguished Student Awards are sponsored by the Nicholas Green Foundation and administered by the National Association for Gifted Children. One $500 US Savings Bond is awarded to a student from each state. Candidates should be students in grades 3-6 who have distinguished themselves in academics, leadership or the arts. The deadline is June 1.

Olive Garden Pasta Tales Essay Contest
The Olive Garden Pasta Tales essay contest is open to students in grades 1-12 from the US and Canada. Essays are 50 to 250 words on a topic that changes each year. The deadline is in early December. The new topic has not yet been posted, but the website tells you to return this fall for the information.

Patriot's Pen
Patriot's Pen is an essay writing contest (patriotic theme) sponsored by the Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW). It is open to US students in grades 6-8. Deadline is November 1. Definitely click the link to watch her deliver her essay - what poise and creativity in a 7th grader!

Prudential Spirit of Community Awards
The Prudential Spirit of Community Awards recognize children in grades 5-12 who have engaged in volunteer activities and have demonstrated exceptional community service. Deadline is late October.

Red Vines Drawing Contest
Sponsored by the American Licorice Company, the Red Vines Drawing Contest is open to children in three age groups (as of May 1): kids (ages 6-12), teens (ages 13-18) and adult (ages 19+). Get ready now for next year's contest - the deadline is in August.

Scholastic Art & Writing Awards
The Scholastic Art & Writing Awards are open to US and Canadian students in grades 7-12. It is sponsored by Scholastic Inc. and administered by the Alliance for Young Artists and Writers, Inc. Guidelines will be available at their website soon.

Team America Rocketry Challenge
Team America Rocketry Challenge is a national model rocket competition open to US junior high school and high school students (grades 7-12). It is sponsored by AIA and the National Association of Rocketry. Deadline for application is Nov. 30, but there are subsequent deadlines for demonstrating the ability to fly the rocket.

ThinkQuest
ThinkQuest is an annual team competition in which students under age 19 create innovative and educational web sites. There are three age divisions: 9-12, 13-15, and 16-19. Teams may have three to six student members. Entry deadline April 25, 2012.

Toshiba/NSTA ExploraVision Awards
The Toshiba ExploraVision Awards is a competition for teams of 2-4 US and Canadian students in grades K-12. The goal of the competition is to encourage students to explora a vision of a future technology. The teams research a technology or device and project how it might change in the future. They identify necessary breakthroughs to enable the development of the technology and discuss the positive and negative impact of the technology on society. Deadline is February 1, 2012.

Young Naturalist Awards
The Young Naturalist Awards is a research-based science essay contest open to US and Canadian students in grades 7-12. It is sponsored by the American Museum of Natural History and the Chase Manhattan Foundation.

Youth Service America
Youth Service America offers the State Farm Good Neighbor Service-Learning Grants to US children age 5-25 to implement service-learning projects for National Youth Service Day in April.

American History Essay Award and Christopher Columbus Essay sponsored by local Daughters of the American Revolution (DAR)chapters. To find your local chapter, visit the website.

Happy Parenting, Happy Teaching, and Happy Home Schooling. And good luck if you enter any of these worthwhile contests!

Contests for Kids - Part II

2011-08-31T09:10:00.000-04:00

Here is the next batch of awards I found for young contenders. All are particularly good for after school and enrichment programs. (Note: each title hyperlinks to the contest. I added other helpful links)

Gloria Barron Prize for Young Heroes
The Gloria Barron Prize for Young Heroes is awarded annually to ten US and Canadian students, aged 8-18, who have developed an extraordinary service project that helped people and the planet. The website has lots of resources. Students must be nominated by an adult.
Jif Most Creative Peanut Butter Sandwich Contest
The Jif Most Creative Peanut Butter Sandwich Contest is open to children who are age 6 to 12. Deadline October 12, 2011: http://contests.about.com/od/cashsweepstakes/p/111012-jif-most-creative-peanut-butter-sandwich-contest.htm
Kohl's Kids Who Care Program
The Kohl's Kids Who Care Program (www.kohlskids.com) honors students age 6-18 who are involved in community service. Candidates enter by being nominated by an adult age 21 years or older. Nominees are considered in two age groups, 6-12 and 13-18, with three prize levels within each group.
Letters About Literature
Letters About Literature is a national reading/writing contest sponsored by the Center for the Book in the US Library of Congress in partnership with Target Stores. The contest is open to US students in grades 4-12. Entries consist of a personal letter to an author, living or dead, from any genre, explaining how the author's work changed the student's way of thinking about the world or themselves. Info about this year's competition: http://www.lettersaboutliterature.org/
MATHCOUNTS
MATHCOUNTS is a national math competition for middle school students (grades 6-8). Individuals and teams of four mathletes from each school compete on a local, state and national level.
National Marbles Tournament Scholarships
The annual National Marbles Tournament awards $5,000 in scholarships to mibsters (marble shooters) aged 8 to 14. The tournament is held in June each year. What fun!
National Geography Bee
The National Geography Bee is sponsored by the National Geographic Society. It is open to US students in grades 4-8 who are age 15 or younger by the date of the national competition. The National Geography Bee is a three stage competition, starting at the school level (competitions from mid-November through mid-January), followed by state competitions in April and the national competition in May.
National High School Oratorical Contest
The National High School Oratorical Contest is sponsored by the American Legion. It is open to US students in junior high school or high school (grades 7-12) who are under age 20 as of the date of the national contest. State contests are held no later than mid-March, and the national contest finals are held in April. The American Legion pays for the travel and lodging expenses of the state winners and their chaperones.
National History Day Contest
The National History Day Contest is open to students in grades 6-12 in the junior (grades 6-8) and senior (grades 9-12) divisions. The projects relate to a specific historical theme or topic. This year's theme is Revolution, Reaction, Reform in History.
National Spelling Bee
The National Spelling Bee is sponsored by the E.W. Scripps Company. It is open to students in grades 1-8 as of their school finals (February 1) and who are under age 16 as of the date of the national finals (June 1).
NewsCurrents Student Editorial Cartoon Contest
The NewsCurrents Student Editorial Cartoon Contest is sponsored by Knowledge Unlimited, Inc. and is open to students in grades K-12. There are three divisions: grades K-6, 7-9 and 10-12.

That's all for today. Look for the rest of the list tomorrow. I hope you find something of interest for your students.

Happy Parenting, Happy Teaching, and Happy Homeschooling!

Contests for Kids - Part I

2011-08-30T07:38:00.001-04:00

Contests provide awesome motivation for children to learn new skills or hone already strong skills. Here are a few contests for young entrants. Most are for middle school students, but some apply to lower elementary and high school. All have a very late in the school year deadline so you have time to work on them with your children.

Action For Nature honors the work of young people between the ages of 8 and 16 who have done creative environmental projects. The winners of AFN’s International Young Eco-Hero Awards program receive a cash prize and a special certificate, as well as public recognition on their web site. Here are the 2011 guidelines, but the website says that the 2012 guidelines will be available very soon: http://www.actionfornature.org/eco-hero-awards/2011-application-guidelines. Also check out past winners to see what the contest judges look for: http://www.actionfornature.org/eco-hero-awards/past-winners/2010-winners
The Angela Award honors one female student in grades 5–8, who is involved in or has a strong connection to science. It is sponsored by the National Science Teachers Association. Deadline is November 30 and the guidelines are here: http://www.nsta.org/pdfs/awards/Angela.pdf
BattleBots Awards is a robot building contest for teams of middle school, high school, and college students: http://www.battlebotsiq.com/BattleBots.com/Home/Home.html
The BRICK Awards by Do Something provide community grants and scholarships to "change-makers" age 25 and under who work with Do Something to improve their communities. They will post their 2012 guidelines soon, but you can see who won this year's awards here: http://www.dosomething.org/programs/awards
The Christopher Columbus Community Service Awards are open to teams of students in grades 6-8. The competition focuses on using science and technology to solve real-world community problems. The deadline is the second Monday in February. Details here: http://www.christophercolumbusawards.com/
Davidson Fellowships are awarded by the Davidson Institute for Talent Development to US students under age 18 who have completed a significant piece of work in the fields of Mathematics, Science, Technology, Music, Literature, Philosophy or Outside the Box. The significant piece of work should have the potential to benefit society. The focus of the program is on gifted and talented students. There is no minimum age for eligibility. Deadline is February 1. Click here for information and previous winners: http://www.davidsongifted.org/fellows/
Dick Blick sponsors an annual contest for block prints made from linoleum. There are three divisions: grades 4-6, grades 7-9, and grades 10-12. Info from last year's contest; new guidelines soon: http://www.dickblick.com/blockcontest/
This is my personal favorite: Google is famous for the doodles that occasionally replace the Google logo. The Doodle 4 Google competition challenges children in grades K-12 to create their own play on Google's logo. Doodles are judged in four grade groups: K-3, 4-6, 7-9 and 10-12. Look for new guidelines soon at http://www.google.com/doodle4google/press.html
The DuPont Challenge Science Essay Competition is sponsored by the DuPont Center for Collaborative Research & Education in cooperation with General Learning Communications. The competition is open to US and Canadian students in grades 7-12 inclusive. The competition involves writing a 700 to 1,000 word essay about a scientific or technological development, event, or theory chosen by the student. Sign up here to get notification of new guidelines: http://thechallenge.dupont.com/entryform/
The Girls Going Places Entrepreneurship Award Program is open to girls age 12 to 18 who demonstrate entrepreneurship and make a difference in their schools and communities. Info here: http://www.girlsgoingplaces.com/

More tomorrow. This is just the list from A-G!

Happy Parenting, Happy Teaching, and Happy Homeschooling!

Dragons and fears

2011-08-29T07:40:00.001-04:00

Children have many fears - bathtubs with swirling drains, thunderstorms, toilets, dogs, bees, and the list could go on and on with each child. How can you help your child overcome some of their more irrational fears like monsters in the closet? Try making a dragon box. Here's how you do it:

Explain to your child that dragons eat things that scare little boys and girls.
Transform an ordinary shoe box or egg carton into a dragon: Cut one end open for the mouth, then let your child paint the dragon any way they want. Use buttons, beads, or pompoms for the eyes. Add construction paper scales and tail.
Identify the fear. Let's say it's the toilet with a self-flushing mechanism (which frightens my granddaughter when she goes to public places.) Find a picture of that device online Print it out and let your child crumple the picture as if it were trash. Then "feed" it to the dragon. The next time, your child exhibits a fear of something, remind her that the dragon is taking care of it for her!
Repeat the process for other fears by having your child draw a picture of the monster in the closet, etc.
Place the box where you child can easily insert fears, but not in his bedroom where they will be a constant reminder of what's inside the box!

Naturally, you don't want to destroy healthy fears - strangers, snakes, and water. But this tactic works well for those irrational fears that children are so fond of embracing.

Happy parenting!